Our BDSM Dungeon Friends by Nicholas Tanek

BDSM dungeons are wonderful places where people can express their kinks. Some include professional Dommes while others can be a party or hang out space for kinky people. Many are both. The various BDSM equipment and themes create a completely unique and fulfilling atmosphere that many kinky people do not have in their bedrooms. Of course, there are many things involved with running dungeons like upkeep, cleaning, insurance, and legal issues. So, I asked our BDSM Dungeon friends about owning or working in a BDSM dungeon.

Here are their answers…

 Mistress Cassie

from Sanctuary LAX

 

Miss Cassie helps run Sanctuary LAX. She is a Professional/Lifestyle Dominatrix, Rigger/Rope Artist, Performance Artist, Rope Bondage Instructor, BDSM Educator & Fetish Actor/Model. 

www.MissCassieLovesRope.com

www.SanctuaryLax.com

www.DomConLA.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/CassieLovesRope

What is the most popular BDSM equipment/furniture used in your dungeon? What is your personal favorite?

Most popular dungeon equipment is either a spanking horse or a St. Andrews Cross.

My personal favorite is a hard point for rope bondage suspension.

How do you find your employees and what training do they receive?

At Sanctuary, head Mistress Cyan has ads posted on their websites. We get some good applicants that way, but personal referrals seem to result in a higher quality applicant. Training depends on experience levels and how well they did on their practical skills test. Applicants with no experience start out as a submissive and can work their way up to switch or Dominant. At Sanctuary, there are a lot of classes which the staff is welcome to attend. We also do occasional staff classes. The staff is tested before they will be approved to use toys, as well as advance to switch or Dominant. We do a lot of peer-to-peer training among staff members. We are always striving to keep a highly skilled staff.

What are some complications about working in or running a BDSM dungeon?

The complications of running or working for a dungeon are like most jobs. You are dealing with people. There will be dedicated staff members and those who are not so dedicated to making the business a success. There are rules to follow and guidelines to adhere to. Our dungeon rules are posted on the website: www.SanctuaryLax.com

What advice would you give to someone going to a BDSM dungeon for the first time?

Advice for first timers? Check the dungeon rules and the event rules. Dress appropriately and only bring toys that meet the rule requirements. Be polite and respectful. Mingle and ask questions. Don’t interrupt anyone’s scene. When in doubt, ask someone in the know like a DM (dungeon monitor).

 Video interview with Miss Cassie 

VIDEO CHAT: Miss Cassie (CassieLovesRope / Sanctuary Dungeon) w/ Nicholas Tanek

 

Mistress Ayn

from FemDom Mansion/Atlanta Dungeon

Mistress Ayn is a professional Dominatrix who is active in the Femdom Mansion and Atlanta Dungeon.

 www.AtlantaDungeon.com
www.FemDomMansion.com

 

What is the most popular BDSM equipment/furniture used in your dungeon? What is your personal favorite?

Probably the most used piece of furniture in any Dungeon would be the iconic St. Andrews cross. Many first-time subs dream of being spread eagle and exposed on the cross. For many, it is the most recognizable of all Dungeon furniture. However, it’s not one of My favorites. Facing in the outward position, many subs get fatigued quickly. Arms can go numb and lightheadedness is also a drawback to this position. When a sub faces inward for flogging or whipping, these issues are not as big a problem. My personal favorite is probably a toss-up between the spanking bench and a good bondage table. With either of these, you can achieve complete immobility and vulnerability with much less stress on the body.

How do you find your employees and what training do they receive?

I am the co-manager of Atlanta Dungeon and the founder/owner of FemDom Mansion. Neither of these establishments has employees. Both are collectives of experienced Dommes that have bonded together to provide a safe and well-equipped space to practice our craft. Mistress Ultra Violet, the owner of Atlanta Dungeon, occasionally mentors if an aspiring Mistress can show that she has a true desire to learn and has a joy for the art of BDSM. Those things can’t be taught. Generally, if someone wants to be a professional Dominatrix simply for the money, they won’t last long.

What are some complications about working in or running a BDSM dungeon?

Working in or running a BDSM Dungeon is probably no different from running any other appointment-based business. At Atlanta Dungeon, everyone is an independent. So, each Mistress handles her own bookings, marketing, etc. It is not like some commercial Dungeons where Mistresses sit shifts or are employees under the control of the “house.” FemDom Mansion is not a Dungeon at all. It is a private home that is equipped with a Dungeon, but it is available for bookings of 24 hours or more and only with approved Mistresses. That makes me more of an event planner. Obviously, there are many challenges with that because these events tend to be elaborate fantasies that can involve kidnapping scenarios, multiple Mistress FemDom scenes, and over the top soirees/dinners. They have a lot of moving parts and characters. Planning and timing are everything. My greatest asset, besides the property itself, is the great group of Women who I work with. All the Ladies associated with FemDom Mansion are phenomenal at what they do which helps make My job as the Head Mistress and coordinator of events go smoothly.

What advice would you give to someone going to a BDSM dungeon for the first time?

Picking the right Mistress and then communicating your interests, experience level, and expectations are paramount. Many “newbie” subs are intimidated about selecting an experienced, well-known Mistress. When a sub is new and lacks experience, it becomes even more important that he choose a seasoned Domme who can accommodate all levels of play.  The first experience can make or break a new sub’s view of FemDom going forward and a good Mistress understands this. Personally, I love seeing new subs. Their excitement re-excites me, and I take my role as an ambassador to FemDom seriously.  From a physical standpoint, anytime you visit a BDSM Dungeon, make sure you have eaten normally and are well-hydrated. Low blood sugar and dehydration can cause unwanted side effects. So, even though you are nervous, eat at least a little something and drink lots of water. Your body will thank you for it.

 

Majik Roxx

from Rancor Studios

Majik Roxx was the owner/founder of Rancor Studios. Based in Long Island, Rancor was more of a play space than a place for Professional Dommes. I’ve been there a couple of times and Majik Roxx and I became friends. It had two floors and even a snack bar. It had everything from cages, chain spider webs, stocks and much more. Unfortunately, Rancor Studios had to close but I have fond memories of the place.

Fetlife profile: https://fetlife.com/users/5577213

What is the most popular BDSM equipment/furniture used in your dungeon?

In our dungeon, it was rare that something didn’t get used. However, the stuff that had queues were the massage tables, spanking benches, and the chain spider web. We had nine suspension hard points so there weren’t lines, but there wasn’t a party without multiple suspensions too.

My personal favorite? My favorite depended on the play I was doing. I’m versatile and I tend to do a lot of play that works well on a table. But my favorite to use was the chain spider web.

How do you find your employees and what training do they receive?

My dungeon was run fully by volunteers. We provided or set up DM training with one of the people in our area who trains DMs for large events (hi submale9992003). My Doorman and myself were CPR/First-aid certified by the Red Cross. My wife and one other volunteer were/are EMTs and one was a Medic. I was very lucky to operate in a robust and helpful community, so people approached me to help.

What are some complications about working in or running a BDSM dungeon?

People all have an opinion of what you should do, and they aren’t shy about telling you. They won’t necessarily know what it takes to accomplish said suggestion, nor will they necessarily help. But, they will tell you.

Laws and building codes, if you’re not familiar with them, can be very complicated. I was very lucky to have a real estate attorney in the family. I am also very close with the local Fire Marshall in my area. I used to babysit his kids. The attorney and Fire Marshall gave me a lot of guidance about how to stay within the law and maintain safety standards.

Interpersonal issues can greatly impact your bottom line. Infighting among local cliques can effectively cut half of your attendance, as well as create tension or animosity at your events. Staying neutral can be difficult.

Lastly, when problems occur, it’s a lot more expensive than residential. For example, my A/C unit broke, and it was a $1500 fix. Running a community dungeon is not a cheap affair. Go in with healthy reserves.

What advice would you give to someone going to a BDSM dungeon for the first time?

Meet people first. Attend munches and go to classes. Try to not have a party as your first foray into the public scene.

Be super polite. Don’t interrupt people. Don’t touch other people or their things. First impressions are important.

Feel free to ask questions but not of participants during a scene or aftercare. Dungeon Masters can be a great resource but try to not be too distracting as they are there to monitor the safety of the attendees.

It’s ok not to play. In fact, I would suggest not playing at your first party. Take it all in. Get a feel for the event and its vibe.

Thank your organizer/promoter. I only ran one event per weekend and I would put about 16 hours a week into it. It’s a massive undertaking and there isn’t a ton of profit in it for the most part. So, let them know you’re appreciative.

 

So…

What have we learned from this?

 

BDSM Dungeons are a safe and consensual place where kinky people can express themselves. I have visited several and had some of the most magnificent times in my kinky life. My Domme, Miss Melissa (a lifestyle Domme, not a professional) summed it up best when she described her experiences of us going to dungeons. She told me, “Every time I go to a dungeon with you, I think, ‘These are my people.’” Whatever you are doing at a BDSM dungeon, it’s a place where you can feel comfortable (if you abide by the rules and follow proper etiquette).

With the new FOSTA and SESTA laws, some of the owners of these dungeons may be forced to close. These are safe places where people can sexually express themselves in safe and consensual ways. Call and write your congressmen and congresswomen to get this bill overturned. Kinky people need to stick together and help sex workers and the kink community. Kinky people find a way. Sign the petition to stop/repeal FOSTA/SESTA here: https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/repealstop-fosta-now

In the end, the people who work at BDSM dungeons whom I know have done nothing but help people. Sure, there may be some pain involved, but for most people I know, it was worth it. As someone in the kink community who is friends with these people and celebrates sexual expression, I urge of all of you to work together to find a way to keep these dungeons open. Support them! Go to them! Give them your money. BDSM dungeons are a sanctuary for many people. (One BDSM dungeon in this article is even called “Sanctuary.”) The main point of this article is to urge you to support your local BDSM dungeon. You never know…it may not be around anymore. Remember my Domme’s words: “These are my people.” These ARE OUR people and you know what? I am thankful that these are OUR people. I’m thankful that they have created a safe and consensual space to be kinky.

 

Join the Your Kinky Friends chat on Discord: https://discord.gg/uUwzVVa

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Your Kinky Friends: https://www.amazon.com/Your-Kinky-Friends-Nicholas-Tanek-ebook/dp/B06XRYCH7N/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1507339445&sr=8-  1&keywords=Your+kinky+Friends

 

 

 

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