I’m a submissive or so I thought.
I had tried being a Domme before. But I’m an awkward little person. So I never really put an honest effort into it.
Until a few weeks ago.
Now there’s a little spark starting to grow. A desire, A need even to put my husband/playmate into place. To tell him what to do and see him serve me for once.
I’m not saying I don’t enjoy being a sub anymore. I’m still very much a sub at heart but there’s another part of my heart that wants to be on the other side of the ropes.
And there isn’t a thing wrong with that!
I see it often. People speaking about they don’t know who or what they are or what they want to be.
After these past few weeks of giving an honest try to being a Domme my question is this:
Why label or limit yourself to just one thing? You’re not just one thing in everyday life, are you? I mean you can be a fun loving person and a Serious hard worker too. So why can’t you be a Dominant type and a submissive type as well? There’s nothing wrong with being a switch and there’s nothing wrong with liking more than one aspect of BDSM.
My advice is to try new things. If it sounds like something you may like ask your play partner(s) if they’d be willing to give something new a chance.
Why deny yourself? What’s the worst that can happen? You find you don’t like it after all? Well ok so don’t do it anymore! Problem solved! But if you never try you may be denying yourself the one thing you just may love the most.
I’m glad I’ve been trying. I may not like it as much as I do being submissive but I still like to change things up every now and then. So I may not be a 100% submissive but there’s certainly nothing wrong with being a switch.
What I’ve learned is there are layers to who I am in BDSM just like there is in everyday vanilla life. And some days those layers carry a whip and other days they’re wrapped up in a rope.
My advice is to peel back those layers to see what you find. Who knows you may just like what you discover there.
If you do, great! Try exploring even deeper into that layer. Try it in different ways and avenues or if you don’t scrap it and go exploring in other areas you have an interest in.
I myself like handcuffs and rope used on me. My hubby hates having handcuffs used on him but is good with rope. So whether you love a good flogging but hate caning or live for fire-play but would rather die before having ice ran down your spine there’s always something new to try, something different to experience and something wonderful to explore. If you just give yourself the opportunity to try.
I’m not sorry I did and I will continue to try new things and new acts of Dominance cause while I love to be submissive and it still has a great many things I can explore so does my Dominant side and I intend on finding out just what kind of kinky fun there is to discover!
Alright, before I close this out let me answer a few questions for you that you may still have.
1. What if I’m awkward and I laugh? Use it to your advantage laugh at yourself and if your partner laughs to ask them who gave them permission to laugh or speak? Then give them a swat on the tush or any other punishment you see fit. Or if you’re trying to be submissive for the first time ask for forgiveness. Act pouty or be bratty!
2. What if I’m not sure what to do first? What’s that one wickedly delicious thing you’ve always wanted to do to someone or have done to you? Ask or demand your partner do it to/for you or do it to them.
3. What if I’m not sure I want to be submitted to 100% but I’m also not sure I want to be submissive either? Maybe a little primal play where you “fight ” for who gets control is in order!
Just remember there’s no rule saying you have to love or even like it just because you tried it. And you never have to do it again just because you did it once. You are the keeper of your body, mind, and soul so it’s you who decides what you do and don’t do.