Living M/s 24/7 by Master Bear
The Rule of Three: Part Two
Starting with the Rule of Three is an easy way to begin putting your household together as a Master. However, it is only the beginning. Each component that you pick for your “Rule of Three” has four pieces to it that fine-tune what it is that you are looking for.
I know that this is a lot of thinking, processing, talking, and experimenting. It is NOT at ALL like the porn or the hot books that you have read. However, what this does is set both you and your slave up for long-term success. Anything can be done for a short period when you are both hot and bothered. However, what is attainable for the next 7 months? Next eight years? How you emotionally communicate will determine how successful your relationship is. In addition, these four legs of each requirement will help you have those conversations about expectations, wants, and needs.
For each requirement that you give these four things, need to be discussed:
- What do you want
- When do you want it
- How much do you want to do with it
- What happens in the end
Let’s run through it.
Say that you want your clothing laid out on the bed after you shower before work. That takes care of numbers one and two. It also gives the slave time to figure out how they are going to do this in real time. If the slave works a full time job and has kids to get ready in the morning then time management becomes important. They have to make sure the clothes are clean and ready to go. They also have to make sure the clothes are where you need them when you need them.
That takes us to number three “how much do you want to do with it”. This is different for every Master. Some Masters love being micromanagers, others like myself, are hands off. There is no right way or wrong way to be. Most Masters fall somewhere in the middle and give the slave some direction as to what to lay out.
You must understand that if you as a Master are deeply tied to the outcome this will impede the ability of the slave to do anticipatory service.
Let me explain. In my way of thinking, anticipatory service is the highest level of service that can be achieved. It is where my slave knows what I want and provides it before I even know to ask for it.
If I am so tied to the outcome that there is no way that my slave will pick the right outfit, then I need to reconsider what I am asking.
If you tell the slave to lay out your clothes then spend the next hour berating them for that they have picked out it makes 1) you very difficult if not impossible to serve and 2) the slave feeling like a failure.
Be realistic on how emotionally tied you are to the outcome. For some Masters their connection to Mastery is in the berating of their slave for an hour. For other Masters, like myself, my sense of Mastery is experienced in the joy and ease of successful service. I am comfortable giving parameters and accepting what falls within them.
The last step is deciding what happens in the end. Punishment, praise, or neither. When it comes to praise how that is experienced by the slave is a very individual issue. Does your slave love touch, play, and/or verbal affirmation? Alternatively, does your slave prefer not to be praised at all, as they feel that praise takes away from their experience of service?
Finding this out is critical because what is the point of praising someone if they don’t recognize it as such or if they resent it?
Punishment is its own conversation and it will be the next writing here. In the meantime, consider this. You do not have to use corporal punishment to be a respected and capable Master. You do have to use a punishment that SPEAKS to your slave AND each slave will be different.
In taking each requirement and breaking it down into pieces it is easy to trouble shoot problems and make forward thinking adjustments that work for everyone.
My Bear journey:
I have always found that numbers one and two are easy. Most Masters disagree about the third and fourth pieces.
When it comes to how much I want to do with things I am a hands off Master. My Mastery is about making my life easier and if I have to be over my slaves shoulder every minute that does not make my life easier. More importantly, it does not connect to my sense of Mastery. I was a nurse before I retired and my slave would lay out my clothes before work. I did not care what scrubs where out on what day as long as they were clean and laid out properly.
Because I am hands off it makes it easier for my slave to do anticipatory service. It gives my slave the ability to show her skills and knowledge because I am encouraging her to read me and determine what is next. NOT trying to control every move she makes. This is actually amazing to me because of how much she is able to surprise me with her creativity and it is always in my favor.
The last stage of what happens in the end includes praise, punishment, or neither. My slave needs praise and encouragement. When she receives these things for her service, it makes her more invested in me and gives her confidence to keep serving.
I do not do corporal punishment because of how it makes me feel. What works with my slave is writing. However, this took time and talking to figure out. At first, I tried no masturbation for a week when she did not do what was asked. After I restricted her from masturbating for a month, I figured out that this was not working. The restriction did not change her behavior. Therefore, I started a new tack, writing. This had a direct effect on her behavior. It made her really have to think about what she did or did not do and what that means to me. It was highly affective for behavior change. The other thing that I do is repetition during her day. I do not like cabinet doors open. It is creepy. At first, she did not mind the cabinet doors open. Therefore, one day I sat on the couch and every time she passed by I had her open and then shut the door to the cabinet. After about 20 minutes, she got it and the doors have remained closed ever since.
Numbers 3 and four will in essence determine your Mastery for you. It is important that you listen to your own needs and not to anyone else’s. No one else can tell you how to experience your Mastery. Find your connection and you will be happier for it.
Master Bear’s works:
M/s for the rest of Us:
Through the Bad Patch:
Nurse V Nurse:
Master Bear on Fetlife is: Master_ _ Bear
Slave eves site: