I’ve heard a lot about being vaginally fisted over the years, but had never tried it. I’m a petite woman, and I didn’t think it would be something I could enjoy comfortably or safely. I began to read about fisting, and the experience intrigued me. I wanted to explore the idea.
My husband and I both wanted to find some reputable information on safe and effective ways to give this a try so I decided to do a little research. I strongly recommend you do the same as you may find something I didn’t and it may work better for you.
- Warm Up: The number one thing that other people advised that was you need to make sure your partner is willing and warmed up. It’s much easier if she’s already excited and ready to go. The more excited the better! So don’t be shy or conservative. Play with her, tease her, orally stimulate her, use your fingers, toys and a penis or strap on. Anything she needs or wants to get her relaxed enough to take it.
- Lube: Use lots and lots of lube! Your hand and her vagina both should be slick. Think in terms of a slip and slide hooked to a fireman’s hose! I highly recommend putting old blankets down underneath you if you don’t have rubber sex sheets.
3. Go Slow: Listen to your body! If it hurts, slow down or stop. You don’t have to give up right away. She may need more play time or just to go slower or even a slight turn or change in positioning of your hand /her body. This may be about pleasure but fisting also builds partner communication. Don’t worry if it doesn’t happen the first time. You can always try again.
4. Patience: Good things take time. There’s no need to rush. It’s supposed to be fun! What’s the fun in trying to hurry through it? You want to go slow and enjoy the moment. Make sure there are NO distraction. Turn off your phones, T.V, computers and make sure there’s no one around to interrupt you. This is one of the most intimate things you can do with your partner. Nothing else is going to feel like this. Don’t expect to be able to do a long fisting session the first time. It’s new and may be an overwhelming experience for her.
Now, I’m going to get a little personal so fair warning! I’m not shy. I’m going to walk you through what we did and give you some info on how it was for us.
While I can’t speak fully for my husband and how he felt, I can tell you my side.
I laid out an old blanket and laid on my back with my knees bent and legs spread wide. I was a little nervous, but also excited at the idea of what we were about to do.
We decided to start with oral sex as it’s always a turn on and great way for me to get warmed up. Next, he fingered me. There is an art to fingering. It’s not just shoving your fingers in and out of a woman.
Every step of the way we added lube! We weren’t stingy and it really helped the process. We spoke in teasing ways, kissed, and touched each other.
We watched a video ahead of time that also had some good tips.
He slowly began fingering me and had me let him know when I was ready for him to add another finger and another till I was ready for him to put his hand in with his thumb tucked in.
Communicating every step of the way is important. Don’t keep silent! Talk to your partner and tell them how it feels and what you want. It doesn’t hurt to move against your partners hand either. Work your hips to your partners movements just as you would if they were using their penis/ a strap on. Allow yourself to relax and enjoy how it feels.
When I was ready, I let him know he could try his whole fist. We took our time slowly sliding it in a little bit and would add lube every few minutes. We continued this process (and yes it’s a process an enjoyable one but still one)
It took some slow and firm pressure for him to get his knuckles in as it was a snug fit. But if you experience the same thing do not force it! That could cause damage. Just continue slow firm pressure unless she says stop! If that’s the case than you stop. If she says it’s ok to continue do so with caution. I also had to tilt my hips slightly to help and he adjusted his hand positioning. Both movements helped.
When he finally had his full fist inside me we waited a moment for my body to get accustomed to the feel of it before he slowly began bending and straightening his wrist (as you’ll see in the video link I shared) and he would speed up a bit at my request. I also wasn’t afraid to move my hips. Tilting to one side or the other to accept more of his fist inside or to just adjust how it felt to me. If you feel like moving, do it. There’s no rule saying you can’t. This is your experience and only you can decide what you want or need. So do what comes naturally and what feels the best for you.
It was definitely a new and enjoyable experience, but it’s one that should be done with care. We only tried it for a short while this time, but there will be a next time. I suggest trying it slowly a few times if you liked it the first time before you really get into more intense or rougher sessions.
And if you decide it’s not for you, no worries at least now you know and can move on to something new.