Our Financial Dominatrix (Findom) Friends by Nicholas Tanek

Money is power. It’s as simple as that. If you give it or if you receive it, there is a power exchange. Findom (or Financial Dommes) basically make a living using their sexuality to have people give them money. Sometimes, it’s sadistic and humiliating. Other times, it’s more of a situation where the client wants to spoil and make the financial Dominatrix happy. Either way, this is a popular but misunderstood fetish. So, I asked some of my FinDom friends some questions and here are their answers.


Syren Rayna

Syren Rayna is a trained erotic hypnotist and Dominatrix from Portland, OR. She is nationally certified and well-studied in hypnosis and how the mind works. She utilizes NLP, hypnotic phrasing, and behavioral conditioning to manipulate behavior. Syren has been in the BDSM scene around Portland since 2016. Syren noticed her natural gift of manipulating people at an early age. What brought her to the kink side of it was a desire to break down some of the “shame walls” that people have. She hates that, even in this community, people can feel isolated in their kink choices. She enjoys helping people understand and embrace their true undercurrent of BDSM and Kink.







What do you think Financial submissives gain from this fetish of handing over money?

It depends on the sub, of course, but it seems there are three main types of psychological gain.

There is a masochistic nature that is fed by doing something impulsive and then suffering for it. By having to work hard to get ahead and have that money removed from you because of a “weakness” can feel a little like punishment (or funishment).

It is also a power-exchange tool. Some of these guys are strong men in their work and home lives. They work hard and have loads of pressure at work. They put themselves through all of that often because the money is good (even when they enjoy their jobs). Once bills and family are covered, they have this extra bit of money that subconsciously stands for what they have endured. When I take it or demand it from them, I am, in a way, taking away part of that person they have to be all the time. Now there is no pressure on them to think, be strategic, or anything other than to comply.

Lastly you have the ones that border on the edge of Finsub and SugarDaddy. I know most Dommes who read that line cringe because we make a point to note that they are separate. But there are some subs who are more sub than Finsub, but like to send money as a way to “earn their place.” This still falls into the masochistic side, but in a different way. They like to spoil, to contribute to “a life that is bigger than their own.” I have had subs send money just because they see I am going places and doing things and they want to feel connected to that via a drink or work equipment. They know that is one of the only ways they ever will be (masochism) so they send and get off on the idea of sending.

Again. We are talking about people, so: mileage may vary.

Most FinDom seems to be online. Is most of your FinDom online or in-person? Why?

Most my Findom interactions are online as well. Findom is largely psychological so the time, prep, effort, and safety I have to consider for in person is often not worth it for ongoing engagements. Now, live can be fun and have a different level of power to it. Making a sub kneel to hand you his cash or making him do something ridiculous to pay you can be a blast, but often subs connect with Dommes that live somewhere else in the world. Buying airfare or a hotel room to hand over money and go home is less feasible for many.

Does the amount of money change the way you reward your subs regardless of your personal connection with them? Why or why not?

One of the basic concepts of Findom is that sending IS the reward. It is sort of all encompassed in that one interaction. Often, I will allow them to edge. I make them send over and over. The sending is the form of release they can have. Sometimes, I command them to send as a way to remind them I have power over them. So, rarely does sending result in a reward unless I am feeling generous and then I might tease them or give them a bit of attention.

Now, because most people think they are a finsub, when really they are a sub or a fetishist, have created a need to base engagement off tribute. For example, if a sub sends me $10 and then a message about his kinks, I might respond with a “Good Boy.” But, I am certainly not going to spend the next two hours chatting about his kinks. If a sub sends $50 and message that he wants to talk about planning a session, which includes kinks and limits, then I will engage further. It is the time value plus the approach.

What are some misconceptions of financial domination (FinDom)?

That it is super common. I have only met a few true finsubs. More often, I meet subs who like to use money as a toy in our games sometimes but want more of the ProDomme experience included.

That it is easy. If you think you can open a Twitter account, post a photo, and tweet “Fuck you pay me” and have money start rolling in, then I give you less than six months before you quit. It is work. It is branding, marketing, creative implementation, networking, relationship building, web development, film editing, accounting, and sometimes, you get to play fun kinky games too. But if you come into this for the money and are not actually passionate about it, then it will eat you alive.

You have to look and be a certain way. Every sub has a different group of kinks. Some want the super tall skinny girl who acts like a rich bitch all the time. Others want the barely 18-year-old brat who just demands everything. Some want a seductive manipulative woman who makes them want to give. Some want a plus size woman to tempt them with her body. Some want an older woman who is more nurturing. The list goes on and on because there are as many unique groupings of kinks as there are people. There is room for all (as long as they allow consent).

VIDEO CHAT: Syren Rayna with Nicholas Tanek


Daizie Jane Charmness, MsCharmness, is a Las Vegas homebody with a passion for the naughty. Using a unique mix of creativity, curiosity, and charm, this BBW burlesque queen will leave you in a daze. MsCharmness began performing in burlesque shows in 2012 and that quickly led her down a path to exploring all things BDSM. She is currently balancing being a traveling Prodomme, Findomme, Hypnodomme, and working a full-time muggle job.





What do you think Financial submissives gain from this fetish of handing over money?

When a submissive sends money, in any amount, they are putting their money where their mouth is. They get to prove that they would in fact do anything or give anything to serve.

For some, this is the only way to earn the attention of the woman of their dreams. This could signal the start of removing the mask they have put on for society, and for others, it’s the total loss of control over their livelihood that satisfies.

Most FinDom seems to be online. Is most of your FinDom online or in-person? Why?

The majority of findom I partake in is online. The ability to reach people with different backgrounds, in varied stages of experience, and in locations all over the world makes an online presence far easier to maintain. Ideally, each sub would eventually earn an invitation to play in person. This takes trust on both ends, financial planning, and the loss of a small amount of anonymity.

Does the amount of money change the way you reward your subs regardless of your personal connection with them? Why or why not?

No. I treat all my subs in a way that is appropriate for our dynamic. I give attention to individuals who have shown appreciation for my time, but large amounts of money alone does not make a person worthy of reward.

What are some misconceptions of financial domination (FinDom)?

People often assume that we seek out and trick people out of money. They think that we don’t have jobs. They assume that we are here to cater to them or think that they need large amounts of money to serve. In truth, most of the ladies I’ve had the pleasure of knowing have jobs, do not approach anyone, accept tributes of all sizes, and would NEVER deal with someone topping from the bottom or telling them what to do.

VIDEO CHAT: MsCharmness with Nicholas Tanek

Mistress Lillith


Mistress Lillith is a successful femdom fetishist extraordinaire. While her interests and knowledge of kinks and fetishes are seemingly never-ending (with a few exceptions), she specializes in humiliation, ABDL (Adult Baby/Diaper Lover) and sissification/feminization training.

Twitter: @mistresslillith




What do you think Financial submissives gain from this fetish of handing over money?

It isn’t really about what they gain, it’s about what I gain. LOL. But really, just with any kink or fetish, it is an addition (or subtraction 😉 ) to the overall experience. My finsubs LOVE to give. The more they click, send, give – the more excited they are. They get a rush for clicking and spending.

Most Findom seems to be online. Is most of your Findom online or in-person? Why?

It does seem to mostly be online. With each new article posted or tv show aired, that number of online findoms seems to grow exponentially. I would say the vast majority of mine are online. I’d have to use my fingers and toes to count the amount of times I did cashmeets and in-person financial domination, but I couldn’t begin to count the amount of times for online. WHY? The majority of my finsubs who met me through online efforts have more of a ‘click and spend’ fetish. While some will send one large sum of money, I have others that like to send large tributes multiple times and get a huge rise out of clicking on different buttons that I create that demand more, and paying those amounts. They want to serve in number form. They don’t care how. They just want to give it. They don’t seek out an in-person connection like some of my others. Regardless if I have a finsub or non-finsub, there is still quite a bit of red tape, and that is another topic. 

Does the amount of money change the way you reward subs regardless of your personal connection with them? Why or Why Not?

I’m not sure I can answer this disregarding my personal connection to a submissive. I do tend to reward my submissives that truly honor my time spent with them (honor in terms of what they are spending above and beyond normal session pricing). Sometimes, that is a financial domination thing, and sometimes its just a person truly appreciating what I have to offer and having the disposable income to go above and beyond. Truth is…I’ve turned finsubs away because they were a nuisance, just like I would anyone else.

 I believe everyone has their price but if you are a drain or drag on my energy, good luck finding the amount that will convince me to deal with you…I’ve found amounts that would pacify the situation but in the end, they are dismissed. They can pay and go away.

What are some misconceptions of Financial Domination?

~ That it’s a get-rich-quick scheme.

Be in the scene for 20 minutes and you’ll find it is not. There is more than just taking money. Even finsubs, in this day and age, expect SOMETHING for their money. Even if you did hit ‘gold’ for the first few moments, it is fleeting if you can’t back it up with knowledge and experience and substance. The white whales that you hear about DO exist, but they will be few and far between. I’d argue that when a whale strikes you actually have to work MORE than usual because you can’t piss away your regulars for the whale. It’s because he will be there for a season and then will disappear into the deep again.

~That charging for sessions is findom.

No, it isn’t. Charging for a service is not financial domination. Financial Domination is in addition to the minimum rate I set for myself.

~ That it is a stand-alone kink/fetish.

It’s often coupled with another kink or fetish. This is just in addition to whatever their other kinks are. Example: Humiliation or CBT may be the original reason they seek me out, but, in addition to that they are finsubs and we mix and match from there. 😊 I have had a few ‘drive by drop offs’ as I call them (someone that simply sent a tribute of a large amount with little more than a ‘hey’ for communication before or after). They are the exception, not the rule. Most finsubs/paypigs will want more substance and connection with their findomme and further fetish exploration.


VIDEO CHAT: Mistress Lillith (Findom Humiliatrix) with Nicholas Tanek


What have we learned from all of this?

While financial domination is not really my thing and is misunderstood by many, I understand it. As someone who loves FemDom, I understand the thrill of giving total control to a woman. Now, I don’t make that much money, but if I buy something for a woman or if I give money to a woman, there is this feeling inside me that I am helping them.

Money is largely tied to the feeling of control. Just like any D/s relationship, there is a power balance and struggle. Some people find deep satisfaction in giving up monetary control to get the submissive feeling of being appreciated and desired. These women provide a service that help men deal with issues from everything like finances to masculinity.

If you are interested in this kink, find a skilled and experienced Financial Domme. Do your research and ask for references. A professional will not be offended if you are cautious at first. Most of these women are not con-artists who are out bleed you dry. True professional FinDoms are practicing a specialized form of FemDom and will care about your well being. Some FinDoms can take total control of your finances and others just expect tributes to show your devotion. They become like kinky Femdom financial advisors. You can spoil them rotten, feed them money until it hurts or find a balance that meets your individual need.

If the idea of FinDom excites you, get to know our Financial Dominatrix friends. They may help you. And if you have your own special FinDom…send her a little something. She deserves it.

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