Funny episode. I had a great time hanging out with Edison and Dino talking about kink. Download!
I am “out” as a kinky person, but many of our friends like to keep their kinky lifestyle private. Some have important jobs. Some have judgmental friends and family members. Others just prefer to keep their kink hidden. For whatever the reason, people sometimes go to great lengths to keep their kinky lifestyle hidden.
So, I asked a couple of our kinky friends about keeping their kinky life a secret. Here are their answers…
1. Those who love you will protect you.
2. Cops, lawyers, and judges are safe , good people who will uphold the law.
I’d also suggest teachers, principals , politicians, doctors – those in authority – should be trustworthy. Sadly, sometimes they’re not. This was my stepfather.
By Nicholas Tanek
My mother and father taught me to respect people. They would tell me, “Treat people how you would like to be treated.” When I was young, I’m sure I made the improper or obnoxious joke every once in a while. I’ve grown up and I’ve changed. Being friends with women and listening to women changed me.
Throughout the years of hanging out with female friends, I have learned that many males can be considered a predator. There are women who live in a constant state of terror due to misogyny and sexism. I went to college in the 1990s during a heightened state of campus date-rape awareness. The last thing I wanted to do was make a person feel unsafe. At the same time, sexual misconduct can come from women too. I’ve personally experienced it. These days, the #MeToo movement has sparked a full-on revolution on how people look at sexuality, sexual misconduct, and sexual harassment.
By Nicholas Tanek
Since I started listening to podcasts, I never listen to the radio anymore. I barely even listen to music in the car. Podcasts are a way for people to express themselves, connect with others, and learn something new. The kink community is huge but still somewhat “underground.” Podcasting has its own community too. As an author (Your Kinky Friends), I have been on several podcasts to discuss my books. Through one podcast (Off The Cuffs: A BDSM & Kink Podcast), a whole world has opened up for me, which led to new friends and experiences. Here are some podcasts that are essential listening for anyone who is interested in kink.
I have always been kinky, but it has only been since 2012 that I completely embraced my kink without fear of what other people thought. I wrote a book called The Coolest Way to Kill Yourself where I confessed that Lynn, the love of my life, would put a chastity device on my cock and sometimes make me wear lingerie and French maid outfits. Then, I wrote Your Kinky Friends, which is about how the kink community saved my life.
Shame and secrecy have plagued some of my vanilla relationships, but those days are over. These days, I am kinky and proud. Still, there was a time in my life where I had all of these fantasies and desires I was afraid to express because of my vanilla partner.
Lynn was the love of my life and she died in 2012. When we were totally honest about our kinks, without shame, our lives changed for the better.
I knew I was not alone, so I asked some of my kinky friends about coming out as a kinky person. I asked them three questions. Here are their answers.
Close Lobsters, Severed Heads, Memoirs of Addiction, and Producers of the Word
By Nicholas Tanek
Music and sex are essential aspects of my life. I always have a soundtrack in my head, especially when it comes to sex. I wrote three books filled with kinky sex and an endless amount of music references. There are songs that get me in the mood. There are songs that I have on in the background during sex. Then, there are songs for the afterglow or come down.
The sexuality of music has always intrigued me. So, I asked some of my musician friends three questions regarding the connection between music and sex.