by Nicholas Tanek
I am a sentimental fool when I look back on some of my sexual adventures in public. Some include me going down on women in parks or getting blown in movie theaters. Others involve group parties. Each incident makes me look back and smile.
So, what is it about doing sexual acts in public or consensual exhibitionism (in a private space) that makes people do it? I think that for some, it’s the risk of getting caught. For others, it is about being voyeurs or being the ones who are watched. Perhaps, there is the vulnerability aspect too. So, I asked some of my kinky friends a couple of questions regarding this topic and here are their answers.
TheLadyAscends
TheLadyAscends is a professional artist and Pagan love witch who is also a good friend of mine. For years, she has embraced her sexuality in delightfully quirky ways. She has multiple submissive slaves and has staged Pagan sacrifices and fake blood orgies.
What was the first time you did something sexual in public that was secret and how did it make you feel?
It made me feel naughty, special, and a little superior. It was senior year of high school. We had a new hot male English substitute teacher. The horrible popular girl was flirting with him. She always gave me shit for being a punk/goth. I stayed after and flirted with the substitute. He ended up going down on me in the teacher parking lot. Plus, I got my first copy of On the Road by Jack Kerouac.
Have you engaged in a sex act while others watched? If so, please tell us one of your most memorable moments.
Many times. One time, I had a sub finger me during karaoke at a bar while Like a Virgin played. Fun times!
How have these experiences with public sex helped or hurt you?
My experiences have always been fun… except for the time I was drunk and hopped on my ex while he was driving. We got pulled over while fucking and the cop couldn’t decide who was driving since I was also in the driver seat. We both got a public indecency charge.
Luna Darke
Luna Darke is an exquisite and beguiling sexual submissive. She is a delightful friend of mine who I have known for years.
What was the first time you did something sexual in public that was secret and how did it make you feel?
I was in high school, fucking my boyfriend in the backseat of his car, in a dark corner of the public library parking lot. It was exhilarating. I loved the thought that someone might be watching us, just knowing it was a naughty thing to do.
Have you engaged in a sex act while others watched? If so, please tell us one of your most memorable moments.
Yes. One of my lovers was fucking a woman that night and I was instructed to bring my toys. He instructed me to sit in the corner and play with myself while I watched him fuck her. Once I got myself off, I was supposed to leave and not say a word the whole time. I got there, pulled out my arsenal of toys, and started playing. I did a little fluff work on him until she arrived. Then, he bent her over and proceeded to fuck her while watching me play with myself. That got me off more than just watching them, knowing he was watching me while he was fucking her. When I got myself off, I packed up my toys. I remember thinking, I’d love to go lick his ass right now… but I had been instructed to leave. He must have read my mind because as I walked past him, he grabbed me, and forced me to my knees. I proceeded to tongue his ass while he fucked her. He came. She came. We all came.
How have these experiences with public sex helped or hurt you?
I think there should be more venues available for people to experience public displays, exhibitionism, and voyeurism. It may seem awkward at first, but you’ll soon move past that. You come to realize what an exciting dynamic it is to be watched while being used. However, I will say it needs to be in the proper environment, with rules in place. I do enjoy the psychological aspect of being used like a piece of meat and being put on display whereas not everyone does enjoy that dynamic.
Nickolas (i.e MisterBig)
Nickolas is in a switch relationship with his fiancée.
What was the first time you did something sexual in public that was secret and how did it make you feel?
The first time was about 5 or 6 years ago in a Walmart dressing room. It was an outstanding experience where I felt great, bad, and stressed at the same time.
Have you engaged in a sex act while others watched? If so, please tell us one of your most memorable moments.
The most memorable moment was also the least explicit. I was at a house party and a random girl jumped on my lap and started making out with me. She stroked my cock while I fingered her in front of about 20 people.
How have these experiences with public sex helped or hurt you?
They helped in a sexual way as well as with my public confidence. If I could do the acts in a setting where others could see me, then I could do anything publicly.
MushMush
MushMush is a wonderful young woman who likes to explore her kinky sexuality. One thing led to another and impact play became part of her repertoire. She likes giving and receiving pain. She is also an essential part of the development of this site.
What was the first time you did something sexual in public that was secret and how did it make you feel?
I was probably 14 or 15. I was at a house party with a group of friends. Me and one of my male friends had insane chemistry and always flirted, but never did anything about it until that night. I went upstairs to smoke a joint and was looking out the window, having a quiet moment. He walked into the room and pushed his body against mine, grabbing me from behind. His hand gripped around my throat and he bit my neck. I reached around and started jerking him off as he fingered me. This all happened while our friends could walk into the room because we hadn’t closed the door. The rush from knowing we could get caught at any minute was absolutely exhilarating.
Have you engaged in a sex act while others watched? If so, please tell us one of your most memorable moments.
I was always the one to take the extra raunchy dares, so my friends have seen me make out with people and give blowjobs. My friends have seen me naked…a lot. There was one time in high school when my friend and I were partying with two guys. We were all in the hot tub in our underwear. She and her guy started fucking in front of us. And while I wasn’t as bold, he fingered me and I jacked him off in the same hot tub.
How have these experiences with public sex helped or hurt you?
They haven’t hurt me so far. I know there’s a big legal risk in public sex but I haven’t had any bad experiences yet. If anything, it’s a nice treat to look forward to and they’re all fun experiences to put in the spank bank. I will say “public” BDSM has helped me more. Going to play parties and having everyone look as I do my thing has helped my confidence dramatically. I carry myself differently. I own the fact that I’m short and stout. I own my thick thighs and my voluptuous ass. I own my body much better and enjoy the feeling of being ogled in circumstances I can control.
Megan Ashley
Megan Ashley is the co-host of Take Back Your Sex podcast. She considers herself a “proud slut” and uses her sex-positive podcast to both educate and entertain.
What was the first time you did something sexual in public that was secret and how did it make you feel?
It was when I was in high school and I was at the movie theatre. We lay on the floor and had sex– full on, PIV sex. Honestly, I don’t know how I got away with it. It was thrilling. I was excited, nervous, proud, and definitely in the moment, all at the same time. I must have been impressed with my first public sexual experience because I kept finding places to make it happen afterwards. I’m talking public bathrooms, jacuzzis, gyms, and even a church.
Have you engaged in a sex act while others watched? If so, please tell us one of your most memorable moments.
When I had my first girlfriend, many friends were very curious about how two women have sex. One night, after playing cards and drinking, my best friend and her boyfriend asked if they could watch and we said a very enthusiastic “YES!” Then, they started to go at it themselves. All four of us were having sex on the same bed. It was a great night.
How have these experiences with public sex helped or hurt you?
In hindsight, I would have never had movie theatre sex. It’s just not worth it, and it isn’t fair to someone who may potentially see you. Not to mention, it is illegal! Last time I tried having sex in a public bathroom stall, my girlfriend and I almost got kicked out of one of our favorite bars. Is it really worth it? No sir, not when there’s a perfectly great bed (and variety of other places) at home.
I am still into having sex with consenting parties watching. I love to put on a show! I also really love to watch.
Rachel
Rachel is a bisexual poly switch who is into various kinds of kink.
What was the first time you did something sexual in public that was secret and how did it make you feel?
I was 16 and dating my first husband. He liked forced orgasms. He’d push and push, almost to my limit. While he was driving, he demanded that I play with myself and come several times. We had an hour drive ahead of us. I laid the seat back and did as told, which was very difficult. It seemed like every car and truck we passed was higher and the people could see what I was doing. I was hyperaware of how I sounded too. Later that night, we had sex on his car in a cul-de-sac, at 3am. I was terrified the entire time that someone would walk outside. No one did.
Have you engaged in a sex act while others watched? If so, please tell us one of your most memorable moments.
I’ve been lucky enough to be in several successful threesomes, most with husbands and wives. So, there’s been lots of watching. My most memorable incident was with my second husband. We were in a hot tub at a spa hotel when we got frisky and started having super discreet (sort of) sex. It was late. We were alone, or so we thought. When we finished, there was a guy sitting on a pool chair watching. Then, he just got up and walked away. He didn’t look angry or unhappy. I like to think wherever he went, he had a good time.
How have these experiences with public sex helped or hurt you?
Within my limits, because I don’t think I could ever be a part of something during broad daylight, I’m definitely more open. I also don’t want to catch a charge for doing lewd acts in public. So, there’s that. I can say I don’t feel hurt by anything. I would agree that I’m more playful in public, without doing anything crazy to attract attention. I have nothing negative to say about public play. I am curious about public play in a dungeon or club setting, maybe someday.
And now, for my answers…
Nicholas Tanek
What was the first time you did something sexual in public that was secret and how did it make you feel?
My very first time was when I was a teenager, but it’s not that interesting. My high school life basically consisted of me getting high and trying to go down on girlfriends somewhere in the high school art wing or in cars. That behavior made me a little crafty in my adult life where the more daring public sex acts began to evolve. So, I consider my corporate public sex acts to really be my “first time.” Many times, while I was at work at the office, my lover would stop by to see me. I would take her to the stairwell and finger her in the corner. With her arms wrapped around me and her face in my neck, it looked to passersby like I was consoling her. If someone walked by, I said stuff like, “Don’t worry. It’ll be okay.” Till this day, I think some of the people who passed us were fooled. Of course, there had to be some people who knew we were doing something sexual, but no one ever complained.
Have you engaged in a sex act while others watched? If so, please tell us one of your most memorable moments.
I’m part of the kink community. I’ve been part of threesomes and had sex in front of people. I’ve been the voyeur too. At the Your Kinky Friends reading/party, I wore a My Bloody Valentine t-shirt and jeans for most of the night. But later, Miss Melissa and Luna Darke made me change into a French maid outfit with garters, stockings and heels. I had a custom metal chastity device on my cock. They put me in stocks and flogged me. People literally came downstairs and gathered around me to watch.
How have these experiences with public sex helped or hurt you?
For me, they range from adrenaline-filled moments to meaningful memories. I’m very sentimental, so each sexual experience means something to me. If I finger a woman on a park bench, get a blowjob in a movie theater, or get flogged in a dungeon, a nostalgic sexual memory is created. I look back and smile.
So what have we learned from all of this?
There is a fine line between being offensive and being sexy. Don’t break the law! The last thing I want to do is force my kink on anybody. With that being said, sexual expression can also be essential to happiness for some people. So, how do we deal with this? Find a safe and consensual place. Find a dungeon. Do not impose your sex on strangers. The beautiful thing about the kink community is sexual expression. Be safe. Be legal. Find a munch and make some friends in the kink community. (http://findamunch.com) My point is that there is a whole community out there for you. You are not alone and the urge to express your sense of exhibitionism can be fulfilled. Public sex is very fun but please, dear reader, make it consensual for everyone involved, including the onlookers. Basically, have some manners.
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