In the world of sex and love, there are a myriad of relationship types. For many, the one type we were shown the most was monogamy. But that doesn’t mean it’s the only type that is right or the only type that is satisfying.
I married a monogamous man. And even though my marriage for a very long time was monogamous doesn’t mean I only believe in monogamy. I have a polyamorous heart. I believe I can love more than one person. Now, I’ve stayed true to my husband. I talked to my husband about it anytime I’ve found someone I have connected with deeply. I’m honest with him about my feelings, desires, and needs. Because (say it with me now) COMMUNICATION is important to a healthy relationship.
A few years ago we opened our marriage, and I found someone I really felt good about. Unfortunately things didn’t go well. It happens, but my husband didn’t like how it went and that I was hurt. We talked, and he asked that we back off poly for a bit. So I agreed. That doesn’t mean my heart changed it just means I love my husband enough to respect his wishes and feelings.
We revisit the topic often and recently a person I’ve known for a very long time approached me. He’s been a friend and one of the best people for me to take any of my questions to as I stumbled through my early BDSM/kinky years and still has been a good source of info. I trust him because he’s a straight shooter. He doesn’t lie or sugar coat things or try to BS people.
So where is this little adventure going? I don’t know but we’ll keep talking to one another and my hubby and I will keep communication going as well. Because as with any relationship communication is so important. Now will we be in a Kinky/BDSM relationship , a friends with benefits type or a poly relationship? I don’t know. Maybe we’ll just have one wild encounter and that’s it. I’m not really trying to label it at this point. For me, we’re friends so we will figure things out as we go. The point is there are so many types of relationships in this world and just because you were told or shown one type of relationship growing up that doesn’t mean it’s the only kind there is in this world. Just like a man and woman together isn’t the only relationship type out there. The truth of the matter is whatever you decide is right for you is just that, what’s right for you.
I’m doing what is right for me and my hubby. Now, if he said tomorrow he wasn’t willing to open our marriage up, I’d agree. Not because I feel the need to follow some old fashioned notion that it’s a one man and one woman per relationship world or because I think I have to bow to his will, but because he’s my number #1 priority. Always has been. Whatever your thing is do you. Don’t tell others how they should do things. It’s not for me to decide what others do or for others to decide what I do. Healthy relationships come in a rainbow of colors and shapes and sizes just like the people in them. The one thing this world can always use is more love.