Real Wild FETLIFE Conversations w/ Nicholas Tanek

Since I am constantly marketing my books and this website, many fans and strangers contact me with  weird messages. I am “out” as a kinky person. I was also a greeter. For a year, I had to greet new Fetlife members every day. I had to show them how to use the site and give them some tips. So I put myself out there and try to be as social as possible in the kink community.  These are some messages that are so weird and funny that I had to post them. NOTE: all names and faces have been removed. CLICK ON THE SCREENSHOT TO READ THE CONVERSATION.



Hey Boo boo!


This person wants to get me pregnant.

This did not end well…


The human carrot.


Because of this conversation, I learned what “Munting” is.

I like how she used the term “Dirt Mongrel.”


This conversation was not going to end well.


My couch is a lowercase “l.”


Then, there is the lurker…

So…. what have we learned from all of this?

Fetlife and the kink community are filled with weird and wonderful people. Now, I am sure some of these specific people mentioned above are internet trolls or just trying to be funny.  I welcome the bizarre and messages like these always make me smile. Your kink could be wearing a mud-covered burlap sack while dancing to “Die When You Die” by GG Allin. I’ll still talk with you. I love that the kink community has a variety of people who know what they like, and these messages were so unique that I wanted to share them.

Fetlife has a group called “Return To Sender” where people just post their weird (and sometimes horrible) conversations in a group. Most of those conversations are from Dom men telling submissive women that they want them to be their slaves. The Doms are rude and pretty ridiculous. The women have every right to be annoyed and sharing these types of messages may help to curb some unwanted advances.

My point is that this is a lesson on how to approach people online, and I am NOT kink shaming. Sharing these types of messages provides examples of how communication can go wrong.  I was guilty of sending copy/paste messages to people on Fetlife years ago. I realized that this was a crude way to try and meet new people. Now my introduction messages are usually personal and specific to the other person on Fetlife. I READ the person’s profile and usually state something that they mention in their profile to let them know that I have read it. So, my advice is to try to find a connection. Does the person on Fetlife like sports or movies? Find a non-kink connection. There is more than just kink that connects us all. Fetlife has introduced me to so many kinky people and I am thankful for that. We meet some interesting people in the BDSM kink community.  Some of those people stay in your mind. It makes me think… Even though their kink is not my kink, I’m thankful for the weirdos.

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