The power a person has over your money can be torture or a turn on. Findom (aka financial domination) is the kink of giving up power of your finances to someone else (usually a woman). They also want to be given money and gifts for sexual gratification. These women tell these men what they can spend their money on.
So, I asked some of our Findom friends some questions and here are their answers.
Lady Gold
Lady Gold is a Dominatrix who lives Female-led relationships. She is into financial domination, chastity, CBT, humiliation, and total power exchange.
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What do you think financial submissives gain from this fetish of handing over money?
I think for some it’s simply that. The fetish of handing over money is powerful and the ultimate form of sacrifice. Money is something people cling to. I also think in some of the dynamics there are subs who truly love to see their money going to building a Domme up, taking care of her, and feeling important in that manner. Some like to feel used and drained, simply an atm to be used when their owner decides. There are many different reactions subs have.
Most FinDom seems to be online. Is most of your FinDom online or in-person? Why?
Most is online. I love cash meets and public or private sessions as well. Online is easier to set times, especially with subs who don’t live close. It’s convenient and it’s safer to an extent. Plus, nothing is hotter than waking up to a tribute already in your bank account.
Does the amount of money change the way you reward your subs, regardless of your personal connection with them? Why or why not?
No. I would say every single relationship is different. I have a base amount I will accept for long-term servitude. So, as long as that amount is being met and the amount is continually a sacrifice to their bank account, that is what makes me feel satisfied. All else depends on that specific relationship.
What are some misconceptions of financial domination?
That we aren’t real Dommes and have no knowledge of BDSM or proper kink practices. That it isn’t sex work. There are so many, to be honest.
Video interview with Lady Gold
Queen Bing (զʊɛɛռ ɮɨռɢ)
Financial Dominatrix and content creator from Pittsburgh area for the greater time of 5 years, mostly now being online. Some of my favorite fetishes to indulge in are foot fetish, tit worship, tease and denial, extreme CBT, chastity, total power exchange, and a newly found leather love. I have a clip store where I enjoy randomly made clips to have subs indulge when they would like. I love being super crafty in my spare time.
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/QueeenBing
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What do you think financial submissives gain from this fetish of handing over money?
Money is the root of what runs society. It is achieved by using time out of their life. It pays bills, buys luxurious vacations, or even simply feeds someone. By giving up something so precious, they’re appealing as now being useful. It could stem from feeling useless essentially and sending gives them meaning. Just as easy as it could stem from the previous situation, it could also be sexually satisfying to hand their hard-earned cash over to a powerful woman or the woman of their dreams who would “never be a part of their life any other way.”
Each submissive’s ideals and gains are different so it can certainly vary from something sexually satisfying to downright chivalrous. They may be lonely and looking for companionship of sorts or they may just be looking for a good chat with a beautiful woman. It could also be as simple as “If I send this to her… She is going to be happy and that makes me happy.” I have seen many different situations. It all varies on the individual.
Most FinDom seems to be online. Is most of your FinDom online or in-person? Why?
I am mostly online. I like to say mostly purely because there have been times when I offer meet-ups/cash meets if I’m traveling for myself. I don’t personally go out of my way to meet without a previous planned trip because of a past (horrible) situation that had happened.
I have met subs in the past who have served for LONG periods of time. They certainly would have to have my trust and safety in their mind first and foremost. Going for in-person anything can turn very bad, very fast.
Being online is, to be quite blunt, much easier. It’s less time consuming, it’s much less of a safety issue (which is STILL not always the situation). Most Dommes are quite busy outside of the scene. They have real jobs, lives, families… They can’t do constant meetups most of the time and that’s just simply how it is.
Does the amount of money change the way you reward your subs, regardless of your personal connection with them? Why or why not?
This very-much-so depends. Each submissive is individually placed with obligations and rules. I try to keep things neat and simple, but if they’re sending and disrespectful, they’re certainly not getting anywhere fast with me, if anywhere at all. Disrespect is a deal breaker no matter how close the personal connection.
What goes along with this is, in fact, that sending is a type of reward. The go-ahead to send is the gold that holds the relationships together. If I said “I don’t get connected with my subs” I would be lying. We become friends, I just happen to be an expensive friend.
There are others who think sending a few dollars means I’m going to spend the next few hours or days talking about their turn-ons and sexual fantasies. That is not the situation. That is not it at all. Sending to me for my happiness comes before their sexual desires always. Them giving me the thing they work so hard for to make my life easier comes before it all.
What are some misconceptions of financial domination?
I get this all the time– Sugar babies and FinDommes are not the same. I get so many sugar daddies and mommies in my inbox that it’s unreal. It just simply is not the same.
I also find that FinDommes are typically size 2, have no job, try to sit on their butts and don’t do anything. That is so far from the truth that it hurts my soul. Beautiful FinDommes vary in size, usually do work full-time or part-time jobs outside of the scene and our content that some of us make for OnlyFans or Clips… That takes a lot to do. There is so much time behind the typical middle finger pictures and little generic “Fuck you, pay me” tactics that nobody, unless you’re in the scene, understands. It gets highly overwhelming very often. It is work.
There’s a lot of misconceptions behind FinDom. Another is “just because they give a little, we must cater to them.” Absolutely NOT. We make the rules. We are the dominants. Most ladies have it placed straight forward what their expectations are and how they roll.
There is not a fleeting overcasting amount of REAL subs. The scene is full of timewasters. We sometimes go days, weeks without tributes. I’m not ashamed to talk about this either because it is simply how it is. It’s all a fetish and we uphold the standard of “We don’t need you or your money, you’re a helper, not a provider.” It is not something you depend on, at least first starting. There are Dommes who make a killing—who have many who adore them and such. Abso-freaking-lutely! We are all hard workers, though. We step up what we need to do. We promote ourselves. We make clips. We talk to these men who are mostly timewasters and that’s why most say you pay before you message. There are LOTS of timewasters. Simple as that and that’s how it is.
Each submissive is different and look for different things. Some want young girls with blonde hair. Some want BBW with tattoos. Others want any that tickles their fancy. There’s even some who are just looking for a chatting partner because he’s lonely, no cares in looks or whatever else.
All-in-all… FinDom is a lot of work, varies in Dommes, and not always works out for everyone. You must work for it and know how to be a Domme to these submissives who come through. It’s not a money-stealing-scheme or a trickery. We are here as creators, semi-companions, and Dominants.
Princess Kitten
Princess Kitten is a sadist and financial dominatrix. She makes videos and believes in female supremacy.
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Twitter @sadistprincessk
What do you think financial submissives gain from this fetish of handing over money?
Submissives gain a further sense of control being taken which they knowingly give up. I think that this is the ultimate form of control for them and for myself, right next to orgasm control. Handing over money is like handing over their hard work. This is really expressing the gratitude and adoration for their owner/Domme of choice or current obsession.
Most FinDom seems to be online. Is most of your FinDom online or in-person? Why?
Most is online for me. I hold sessions in exchange for cash but those are sessions and I wouldn’t qualify them as financial domination. I’d say cash meets where the sub selflessly hands over cash is more findom and I’ve only done a handful of cash meets. I’d love to get into hotter and sexier ATM meets.
Does the amount of money change the way you reward your subs, regardless of your personal connection with them? Why or why not?
The amount of money does change the way I view a sub. All my subs are devoted and work hard for me. They would even go so far to get a second job to make sure I’m happy. There would be no personal connection without their best effort put forward, simply put. I’d like to add that the connections I do have are strong and amazing and the way my subs treat me have only pushed my standards higher for future potential subs.
What are some misconceptions of financial domination?
A large misconception is that we are scammers and don’t have a job or that we are not into female/general domination Also, another misconception is that we put a bad name towards the BDSM community OR that this doesn’t fit a lifestyle slave. That doesn’t make sense to me.
First off, this is the Internet. There are scammers everywhere. Do your research before you pay. We work hard to put out content and information. We build websites for a purpose. There are genuine people online, women and men, but there are also fake women and men.
Second, most Dommes have a vanilla job or work hard as a pro Domme/clip artist. That is a lot of work.
Third, if we weren’t into general domination, we’d be bad at findom. It’s a package deal.
Finally, I think many older “subs” are envious and selfish of women. Most I see on Fetlife. They say that this doesn’t fit a lifestyle sub and with that, I’d love to know what a lifestyle sub is? A sub who enjoys being controlled 24/7 and loves to live the lifestyle, which to me would include EVERY aspect of control, including financial control. To each their own, but in my eyes, financial domination derived from female/male domination.
Video interview with Princess Kitten
So…
What have we learned from all of this?
Financial Dommes are not just money hungry scam artists. The financial Dommes I know are some of the most helpful and caring people in a very misunderstood fetish. Sure, there are some findom women who want to just use and drain men, but a real financial dominatrix uses domination, control, and sex to give their submissive meaning and a sense of purpose. These men want to give up control of their finances to please the woman but also feel comfort in giving up control. So, if you are a woman who wants to be a financial dominatrix, remember that it is still work and do not expect to get rich quick. If you are a man (or woman) who has a findom fetish, do your research on the financial Domme. Check out their websites and read their history. While there is a fine line between abuse and BDSM, there are financial Dommes out there who are not only caring but can be helpful. So, look at your bank account and make sure you have enough money because these women want to be pampered while they sometimes degrade you, but also help you.
I must go, my friends…. I must make that money.