Punishment (M/s Relationship) – Part 2 of 2 by Master Bear

Punishment part two of two

by Master Bear 

I am against corporal punishment, but there are more than personal reasons why.  More often than not, I have seen abuse and resentment be the byproducts of corporal punishment. I have three examples to share.

 

One Master used corporal punishment and as we were discussing it, their eyes lit up. They got a dreamy look and said, “I love it when my slave messes up because I get to hit them as hard as a want.”

In other words, their slave making a mistake was an excuse for the Master’s emotional release.

Escalation of behavior is a normal part of human trajectory. People need more “fill in the blank” each time to obtain the same emotional release.  Punishments are no different. Over time, it could evolve into the Master setting the slave up to fail to have a reason to punish. Worse, to achieve emotional release the Master could hit harder then they “intended” or create a downright unsafe physical/emotional state for the slave in the name of the Masters “right “to punish.

          

Secondly, I had a conversation with an M/s couple and we were discussing corporal punishment. They talked about how they had a paddle set aside, how the slave gets so many swats on the butt, and how the slave must maintain a position before, during, and after the punishment.  They talked about how a punishment clears the table. After the punishment, the Master and slave are able to let the infraction go. The punishment serves as a cathartic experience that lets them both move forward.

Then the slave began to talk.

The slave was 100% behind the Masters way of punishment, except that one time. The slave felt that they had done nothing wrong and was punished anyway.  The slave talked passionately about this while never making eye contact with the Master as the slave’s ears turned beet red.  I thought that the slave was talking about something that had happened recently. It turns out that the punishment was given over 3 years prior and the slave was still carrying resentment.

                  

 

Thirdly, I spoke extensively with a slave that was all for physical punishment.  They loved the time and attention that it bought them. Their Master had several slaves, but a punishment was complete unfiltered time with their Master.  The more extensive the punishment, the more the slave reveled in it. Soon, the slave would intentionally mess up just to be punished.  When the Master would no longer punish them, the slave left. 

What I am proposing to you is to look for long-term solutions that work for you. Your actions need to connect you to YOUR sense of Mastery and your slave to their sense of slavery.  No one else can tell you what has to happen. There are no defined rules.  There is only you and the person you are negotiating with.  If corporal punishment works for your relationship and you find it fulfills and creates the emotions and changes that you desire, go all in GRL- LET HAVE.  If not, that is OKAY, too.

Define yourself- do not let others do it for you.

 

 

Bear Tails:

I did a lot of thinking about corporal punishment when I first started. Back then, I did not have the words to explain how I felt. People both inside and outside of the community want to hear about what punishment that my love gets. It excites them. I do not blame them. In media, punishment is hot.  It is sexy, ferocious, and many times the apex of the story. When the film 50 Shades of Bullshit came out there was that point where she says to him- show me how bad it can be.  She bends over and he swats her with a paddle. She looks back at him, he stops, and she walks out. Really? I mean...Really?!

 

                                  

BDSM comes with real consequences. Sometimes far reaching ones. Physical damage is one thing but mental/emotional damage is much harder to repair on either side of the whip.

I found that when I could verbalize my rules to myself it made it easier to explain to others. I knew what I was doing, why I was doing it, and what result I could expect.

This did not happen overnight. It took years for me to figure myself out. 

I am hoping that by sharing this with you, it can make your journey easier than mine was. 

M/s for the rest of Us: 

http://www.lulu.com/us/en/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22991847.html

 

Through the Bad Patch:

http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/through-the-bad-patch/paperback/product-23380662.html

 

Nurse V Nurse:

http://www.lulu.com/shop/a-dhaie/nurse-v-nurse/paperback/product-22991855.html

 

Master Bear on Fetlife is:  Master_ _ Bear

 

 

Slave eve’s site:

http://laughinggoddessapothecary.com

 

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