The Rule of Three – Part One
The biggest mistake that I see most new Masters make is having an extensive list of things that they want their slave to do. New Masters often times put unnecessary pressure on themselves by expecting everything all at once. Having a huge list in the beginning creates a couple of different issues.
First off, understand that if you as a Master cannot remember all of the things that you are requesting of your slave then why should your slave remember? Secondly, this creates an unrealistic expectation on both you as well as your slave as to what can be realistically achieved in the early days of your dynamic. Slaves want to excel, they want to give, and they want to be the best they can for the Masters that they love. So set them and you up for success.
If you are a new Master and you are looking to move into a 24/7 dynamic, start with the Rule of Three. The Rule of Three is based on finding three things that you want your slave to do that directly connects to your sense of Mastery. Your sense of Mastery can be felt through your crotch, your heart, and/or your mind. Those things that your slave does reinforce your sense of power.
Let me give you an example: Let us say the three things that you want your slave to do are: 1) Give a fresh cup of coffee to you every morning right after your shower. 2) Have your briefcase and keys handed to you as you walk out the door. 3) Have dinner ready when you come home.
Let us look at the first one: A fresh cup of coffee.
To begin, let your slave know what you want: I want a fresh cup of coffee after my shower; you are going to start this tomorrow, which means you have to get up before I do and you have this ready for me as I am coming out of the shower.
The next morning you get up and you go to your shower. Your slave is there with the cup of coffee and you realize that you do not have any feelings about it. It does not feel the way that you thought it would.
The next two directions: Provide briefcase and keys/Have dinner on the table.
You move on to the slave handing your briefcase and keys to you before you go to work. In that moment, you feel something – you realize that this action reinforces your feeling of empowerment. You go to work and when you come home, dinner is ready. Again, there is something about that action that gives you that sense of control, of power exchange, and empowerment as a Master.
What we have now – as we look at the three things – is two things that really speak to you and one thing that does not. At this point, you can either keep trying the coffee in the morning to see if you develop the feeling of connection to your Mastery or you replace it with something else. Let us say you want your clothes laid out in the morning before you go to work instead of coffee. The next day you come out of your shower, your clothes are laid out, and BAM it hits you right in your crotch. The feeling of empowerment, of being cared for, and the acknowledgment of your needs.
Those three things then become the beginning of you integrating what it is that you need from your slave on a daily basis.
In addition – and just as important – when those three things are not happening you will notice right away. This allows you as a Master to troubleshoot what is stopping the slave from being successful. Is it time management? Is it that you have 8 kids and they all need to go to school at the same time you want their attention? Does it need time to gel? Does the slave not have what they need to get the requests done?
As a Master during the Rule of Three exploration, it is very important that you suspend all punishment. The reason for this is the rule of three is a learning phase for both you and your slave. It needs to be about learning each other, having a sense of accomplishment, and truly looking at how these actions make you feel. If you add punishment during the initial three things phase then what you are going to be doing is skewing how it feels for both of you.
No one can tell you what first three things you need to explore. That comes from you as a Master doing some insight and exploring your role.
MasterBear has been in a relationship with her slave for 17 years. The first three years of their relationship, they both trained to plan for the long haul. Then her slave was awarded her first locked collar.
Other works by MasterBear: