Professional Dommes offer a service to submissive men and women who want to experience their kinky fantasies. There are women who make their living as professional Dominatrixes. The whole scene is quite varied when it comes to different fetishes. Most professional Dommes have specialties like sissification, forced cross-dressing, CBT (cock & ball torture), sadism, chastity play, wrestling, medical play, rope, cuckolding, or water sports. The list goes on and on. Being involved in the kink community, I have made friends with several professional Dommes. So, I asked them several questions. Here are their answers.
Riley Jane
Riley Jane is a professional Dominatrix, fetish model, and lover of all things naughty. She is an exhibitionist to say the least. She has a whole smorgasbord of interests, half of which don’t make sense together.
Twitter / Instagram / Facebook / Tumblr: ModelRileyJane
Fetlife: Riley-Jane
https://detroitdiscretedom.wixsite.com/discretedominatrix
Dungeons Instagram: DetroitHouseOfPain
Dungeons Fetlife: DetHouseOfPain
How did you get started in the Femdom/professional Domme lifestyle and what kinks/fetishes do you enjoy?
I always have enjoyed the kinkier things and I was always the one prompting my partners to try new things. In 2013, I was introduced to Eric Cain of futilestruggles.com and JJ Plush of borntobebound.com. Working with them launched me into a fetish career path. I always was in a submissive or damsel role but dreamt of topping. In 2014, I approached Castratta Lady of Pain and asked to join her house, and be mentored by her. She helped me grow, gave me opportunities to learn and practice. With my naturally bratty, princess type personality and experience bottoming, I quickly fell in love with pushing people to the edge and straight into bliss. I’ve been lucky to experience and enjoy so much that I get a rush off most kinks. I would say my personal favorites are age play, pet play, bondage, impact, and humiliation.
What advice would you give to a woman who wants to be a professional Domme?
Only do it if you have a passion for it. It’s not some easy get rich quick type of career. You are going to deal with time wasters, flakes, and people who have no clue what they want. You put countless hours into marketing, advertising, networking and all around building a persona/brand for yourself. Although I am lucky enough to work completely in a fetish career and pay my bills, it is not something I do for the money. Also, do your research. Be sure you know what you’re doing as you don’t want to damage anyone. Be sure you know where you’re reaching out to market as it determines the clientele you receive. Be educated and professional.
What advice would you give to men who want to approach a Pro Domme?
Manners, manners, MANNERS! Be respectful, be conscientious of her time, and never tell her she is too expensive. Instead, just admit that you can’t afford her. Now, when I say be conscientious of her time, I mean don’t ask a hundred questions. She is not here for you to talk and fap. She is a professional who will understand when you tell her what your fantasy is and will be able to make it a reality for you. I personally have a short consultation before we begin the session to ensure I’m well-aware of what you need and that there are not health concerns to ensure safety. Be respectful. Speak clearly, don’t back talk, call her by her preferred identifier, use your manners, and thank her for her time. I promise if you do these things, you will get a lot farther with people.
Miss Asia Monroe
Miss Asia Monroe has a petite frame, witty charm, and hypnotizing glare that makes slaves all over the world crave for more. Having starred in over 150 fetish films and clips, her level of experience is unmatched. Her presence has made many slaves bow their heads in awe of her beauty, strength, and sheer presence.
IG: @missasiamonroe
TWITTER: @asiamonroe
How did you get started in the Femdom/professional Domme lifestyle and what kinks/fetishes do you enjoy?
In a way, I’ve always been a Domme. I was a sadistic child who liked to tie up and whip my male cousin for fun. I was always excited to cause chaos. I was always so fulfilled when I humiliated men. Around 16, I realized the type of power I had over the opposite sex. Between that and my knack for manipulation, I was destined for this. One day, I was up late and saw a documentary that featured The Baroness. I remember thinking to myself, “I can genuinely make this a way of life?” After that, I never looked back.
My favorite types of play involve complete manipulation, acute pain distribution, and intense humiliation. So, I like things like financial domination, complete control, CBT, canes, whips, public humiliation, sissification, mind control techniques, etc.
What advice would you give to a woman who wants to be a professional Domme?
Find a niche but make sure it is something you love to do. Don’t become a scat Domme if you hate shit. Don’t become a brutal corporal Domme if you are squeamish. I see this happen too often. Also, don’t jump into professional domination without training. Be an apprentice or get trained at a dungeon, period. Blind is unsafe for others. Your slave’s safety should never be compromised just because you are under-trained and overexcited.
What advice would you give to men who want to approach a Pro Domme?
Be respectful. I cannot stress this enough. Every Domme, Pro or Lifestyle, has their own etiquette rules to abide by. If you don’t know them already, then ask, “How would you like to be addressed, Mistress?”
If you are contacting a Pro Domme via email, list all your interests. Forward your availability/desired time and ask all your questions in the initial email. We are usually busy women who don’t have the time to go back and forth too many times. Listing everything upfront makes email exchanges smoother and will better ensure your session goes without a hitch.
Do you love the way your Mistress does her craft? Show that appreciation with tipping, occasional gifts, and thank you emails. This is one of the best ways to show appreciation and can go a long way with gaining favor.
Mistress Morgan Sterling
Mistress Morgan Sterling is a professional Dominatrix and a lifestyle Mistress who operates an upscale play space in the Los Angeles area.
She entered the New York lifestyle BDSM scene over twenty years ago. A few years later, she moved to San Francisco. In San Francisco, Mistress discovered the Leather scene and was trained and mentored in the Leather tradition. Mistress Sterling has taught classes in CBT, medical play, and electrical play at Stockroom University and Threshold. She runs a mentorship program for Pro Dommes and lifestyle players interested in deepening their knowledge. Currently, Mistress Sterling is seeing clients in her South Bay studio.
facebook: facebook.com/#!/morgan.sterling.50
twitter: @missmor94053094
Instagram: http://instagram.com/mistress_sterling#
How did you get started in the Femdom/professional Domme lifestyle and what kinks/fetishes do you enjoy?
I discovered that I was kinky at the age of 15, but I did not become a professional for several decades. I had a career in Real Estate Management for over two decades before deciding to switch vocations. The change happened during the last recession. I no longer enjoyed my job. My stress level was through the roof and I did not feel fulfilled. I made the decision to try switching careers. I always loved kink and often fantasized about becoming a Pro Domme. I had a strong background in marketing and customer service. I had the ability to make businesses successful for investors. I was pretty sure I could make my own business successful as well. I had the necessary BDSM skills from being in the lifestyle for years. I decided to give it a try. To be sure that I could make this business work, I contacted a friend who was a Pro Domme and asked her to mentor me. I also continued to work in Real Estate, just in case things did not work out. Six months later, I quit my job and devoted myself full time to my Professional Dominatrix business. I have never looked back.
I enjoy electrical, anal, medical, and corporal. I AM pretty sadistic.
What advice would you give to a woman who wants to be a professional Domme?
Make sure you are doing it because you love it, not just for the money. Treat it like a business, but realize that it is not just a quick way to make money (it isn’t). Have business goals and personal goals. Keep the two separate. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Make sure you have a mentor whom you trust. Know who you are, outside of your identity as a Mistress. Have other interests and hobbies. Take time for yourself.
What advice would you give to men who want to approach a Pro Domme?
Approach us with respect. We are human beings, just like you. Do your research. You are going to make yourself vulnerable with this person. Make sure that she is worth it and that she is capable of taking care of you, when care is needed. You are embarking on a journey that may turn into a long-term relationship. Make sure you two are compatible. This is a business relationship. It’s similar to the one you have with your attorney, physician, or financial planner. Please treat it as such. Don’t expect to get a short notice appointment. Once you make an appointment, keep it, or cancel if you can’t make it. Be on time. Don’t ask personal and inappropriate questions. Know that you may not be invited back, if you break the rules. Don’t ask for discounts or freebies.
Mistress V
Mistress V runs NYCFetishes.com and she is part of New York City’s only Professional Dominant couple. She and Master Victor are both very aggressive. They love submissives, slaves, sissies, bitch boys, pigs, sluts, and servants. She brings a sensual, sexy, domineering, assertive side and Master Victor brings a rugged, raw, Dominant hardcore element. Together they are an incredible team. They can craft a wild and intense session that you will not soon forget.
How did you get started in the Femdom/professional Domme lifestyle and what kinks/fetishes do you enjoy?
I started as a Pro Domina in 2007 with catering only to foot fetish. My feet are not ticklish; however, they are one of my erogenous zones. I do enjoy my feet being caressed, sucked, massaged, and licked. As I built my client base, I started to get requests for different fetishes. As time went on, I dove deeper into the perpetual rabbit hole of the fetish world. Not only was I learning, but I was also experiencing fetishes I wasn’t offering. At first, it was quite exhilarating. Also, I was meeting an array of different people from every walk of life. I learned more and more about myself with every experience. I love what I do and who I am. My favorite fetishes are, without a doubt, pegging and cuckold play. These kinks are truly in a league of their own. However, I fully immersed myself in all the fetishes I offer.
What advice would you give to a woman who wants to be a professional Domme?
Research, research, and more research. Even with the knowhow, sometimes it still does not prepare you for the true-life experience. Being a Domme is not for everyone and not everyone can do it. It helps if you are already in the lifestyle and I would suggest experiencing a lot of the fetishes first hand. Then, and only then, can you apply it to a slave. To know thyself is to know others.
What advice would you give to men who want to approach a Pro Domme?
Be respectful. Know why you are contacting the Pro Domme. What are your interests? Follow directions. Every Pro Domme has different rules. If you are serious about setting something up, make sure you are ready.
So…What have we learned from all of this?
Lynn, the love of my life, died in 2012. We were into Femdom, forced crossdressing, male chastity, pegging, and rope. After Lynn died, I decided that I needed to explore Femdom more so I reached out to people at munches and on the internet who claimed to share my fetishes. Of course, I encountered some who were immediately so over the top that I would not be surprised if they were in fact lonely men who were acting like Dommes, hiding behind the anonymity of the internet. There were also women who expected me to instantly submit without even having a conversation first. Through a mutual kinky friend, I met and befriended a Pro Domme who helped me find a sense of healing through kink. (I wrote about these experiences in my book Your Kinky Friends.)
The Pro Dommes in this article love what they do. While it is a business for them, they also consider it an artform and craft that they take very seriously. I have actually talked with each one of these Dommes in this article and they are friendly, intelligent, sophisticated women who have a deep love for the lifestyle and what they do. It can be a lonely world out there for a man who likes Femdom. That’s why many pay for it. These women provide a service. They are not prostitutes. They are kinky people who help us heal and explore our sexuality. Many are experienced and educated women who can help make our kinky lives better. So, if you know a Pro Domme, make sure you show her respect. Be honest with her and be thankful that she is there to help you with your journey.
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Thank you! Please stay tuned for more interviews and articles.
I just wanted to let you all know that I added a new list. It has taken me awhile to let everyone know due to server issues. Everything should be back on track now.