There are many things that separate Masters from each other and philosophies on punishment is one of the biggest. The social expectation is that Masters are emotionally removed and deliver harsh physical punishment at the drop of the hat. The worse the punishment the more “Masterly” the Master is considered. On the other side a slave that receives this type of punishment is supposed to glow and excel in its presence.
I suppose that works for some people. It however, does not work for me.
Over the last 17 years, I have developed a few rules about punishment:
- It cannot take any of my time, effort, or energy.
- It must redirect teach, explain, reinforce, and ultimately create a behavioral change.
- It cannot make me feel icky.
Let us look at each one.
- I view my time, attention, and energy as a gift to my slave. A punishment that takes my time, attention, and energy then becomes my punishment as well as hers. Let us say I punish her by ordering her to cut a square foot of grass with cuticle scissors so that each blade is one inch in height. (Full disclosure- NOT my IDEA) This may sound cool UNTIL I realize that my ass has to go down on the ground measuring afterwards. In addition, what do I do if my slave cuts every piece of grass except two blades? Make her do it again, so that I get to measure again? My time is precious. My Mastery is about making my life easier. I do not view spending time measuring grass as a way to valuable use my time or making my life easier.
- It must redirect, teach, explain, reinforce and create a behavioral change or greater understanding. Some questions to ask yourself are “what am I looking to engrain?” Moreover, “how do I know that my punishment is affective?” Something to keep in mind is that if the punishment works then the change is long term.
- It cannot make me feel icky. Both my slave and I have an extreme abuse history. In both of our childhood homes physical punishments was a part of that abuse. I refuse to feel the way I did as a child just to uphold an ideal of what others think I should be.
These personal rules mean that I risk things. One -I risk how I will be viewed socially. People may not accept my identity as it contradicts what they feel a Master does or is. Two- I risk other slaves wanting to serve under me, as they may not view me as being hard enough. In my opinion, both things are worth the risk.
Interestingly enough what I do not risk is having a successful and fulfilling relationship with my slave where I get what I need.
I do not risk having a bottomless pit slave that is attention seeking to the point of abuse of my time.
I do not risk the stability of my mental and physical being.
When I first took on the identity as Master I was told out right that I could not be a Master unless I used corporal punishment. Since that time I have been told that my lack of emotional removal, lack of micromanagement, and refusal to use corporal punishment takes me out of the running for being viewed as a Master.
In my beginning, I thought about this a lot. Was the identity worth the cost?
It did not take long before I realized that what they said was a requirement that had NOTHING to do with me. These where their rules that worked for them, but without question would not work for me.
I have done one corporal punishment in my time as a Master. My slave was late picking me up from work one day. I put her naked in high heels in front of a roaring fire and made her stand there for an unspecified amount of time.
I had to take my time, effort, and energy to do it. I had to remain in the vicinity for her safety, which restricted me from doing what I wanted to do. In addition, afterwards I felt conflicted. I thought that doing this would make me feel powerful. Make my slave feel connected to her slavery and make me feel connected to my Mastery.
It did none of these things. It enhanced my Mastery not one bit.
So next, I decided to prohibit my slave from masturbating. For the first infraction, I prohibited her from masturbating for one week. After that week, there was no change in her behavior. I expanded the time of prohibition and finally we reached a month of no masturbation. It was not working, and I did not know why.
Was I not fierce enough?
Did she not respect me enough?
What was I doing wrong?
Then it occurred to me. I was looking at it wrong. It was not about me. It was about her. It was about finding that thing that works with her. Getting into that part of her brain that motivates her. That was what was missing.
Therefore, I took a step back and I talked with her.
I do not remember what the impetus was to start a writing punishment, but the first time that I tried it, I knew I had something. Sometimes it was an essay about how she had disappointed me. Sometimes it was repeating the same line over and over with a time count before and after each line. In addition, I went out and did something that I wanted to do while she was working on her punishment. Take would myself to a movie, walk the dog, or get an ice cream. The purpose being that I did not stop my life for her punishment and I was not present during her punishment.
It was something that worked so well that she quickly stopped needing punishment of any type. This punishment connected with her sense of slavery. In addition, more importantly it connected with my sense of Mastery.
Master Bear’s works:
M/s for the rest of Us:
Through the Bad Patch:
Nurse V Nurse:
Master Bear on Fetlife is: Master_ _ Bear
Slave eves site:
VIDEO INTERVIEW WITH MASTER BEAR AND SLAVE EVE