Embrace Your Inner Weirdo

Our Kinky Friends Discuss the Beauty of Being Eccentric

By Nicholas Tanek 

I’m not only kinky, but I’m a weirdo. I like weird films. I like bizarre music. I like to eat weird foods. When I was a teenager, I made homemade straight jackets and came in my pants. I enjoyed staring into space for long periods of time and made bizarre noises for fun. I didn’t even understand it. Even before I did drugs, I loved absurd humor. One of my favorite sketches was “The Pear Dream” from The Kids in The Hall. When Adult Swim came along, I felt like there was a whole bunch of people who understood me… even though I didn’t always understand their work.

I don’t try to be weird. (Okay…sometimes I do when I’m hanging out with my other weird friends to make them laugh.) My point is my eccentric behavior is deeply ingrained in me. I think it is a mixture of OCD, my addiction issues, my love of psychedelic culture, and my love of the creative arts. After all this time, I am comfortable being this weirdo and I don’t care what “normal” people think of my weirdness.

Being a part of the kink community, I’ve met some wonderful and weird people who embrace their eccentricities. So I asked them a couple of questions about being weird, feeling weird, and embracing their weirdness.  Here are their answers.


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Reckless Kink

My Kinky Friends Discuss Some Dangers of Kink & How to Stay Safe

By Nicholas Tanek

Being kinky is fun, but it can sometimes be dangerous. I look at the kink community and the lifestyle in a very positive light. Personally, I tend to focus on the fun and friendship aspect. At the same time, there are social, physical, and mental aspects that can damage a person. If someone is not careful, they can meet the wrong person. There are certain kinks, like breath play, knife play, or fire play, where someone can get hurt if not done correctly.

So, I asked some of my kinky friends about the dangers of kink and how to stay safe. Here are their answers.


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Some Dos & Don’ts of Approaching People In The Kink Community

By Nicholas Tanek

Kinky people are human and humans make mistakes. There is an etiquette in the kink community, like anywhere else. Although I consider myself a switch, I am very much into Femdom. I have made some truly dumb mistakes approaching Dommes. I have grown quite a bit since then and learned some valuable lessons. Of course, I’m still learning and growing as a kinky person.  In general, it’s important to have etiquette when dealing with anyone, even in the kink community.

So, I asked some of my friends in the kink community three questions and I hope their answers may help others.

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Being Kinky Behind Your Vanilla Partner’s Back

By Nicholas Tanek

I was once in a miserable marriage with a woman named Alison.  The kinkiest thing we did was me tying her up while she wore lingerie and I used a vibrator on her. There was this one time I put a dog leash on her and fucked her from behind while she yelled, “I’m your slut! Yes! Fuck your little slut!” That was fun, but I also had femdom fantasies that I wanted to explore. When I was married, I never expected my ex-wife to understand my interest in forced crossdressing, male chastity, pegging, and femdom.

These days, I am a part of the kink community and live a kinky lifestyle. I’m proud of that. While I can be a switch, the femdom dynamic is strong. I spent many years trapped in a relationship that was unsatisfying and uncomfortable. I refuse to live that way, and I know that I am not alone. So, I asked some of my kinky friends to share some of their experiences of doing kinky things behind their vanilla partner’s back. I asked three questions in the hope that you, dear reader, may not feel so alone if you are in the same situation.

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WANT TO EXPLORE FEMDOM? Your Kinky Friends can help!


 By Nicholas Tanek



  1. Or: femdomme / domme / female dom / female dominant, a woman who enjoys the dominating role in BDSM scenes.
  2. A BDSM scene controlled by a woman.


A Femdom relationship is not always the easiest thing to start. In the kink community, the number of men who enjoy Femdom outnumber the women who participate in it. It can be a lonely world out there for a man who is interested in Femdom, male chastity, cuckolding, and forced crossdressing.

I wanted to write this article to help both men and women who are interested in getting into Femdom relationships (professional or personal). So I asked a bunch of my kinky friends three questions. Here are their answers.

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TOO KINKY? Tales of Being Too Kinky & Being Out-Kinked.

By Nicholas Tanek

I am a kinky person and I am proud of it. I’m so proud of it, I was a guest on an episode of the ProudToBeKinky podcast. I even wrote a book about the kink community titled Your Kinky Friends. Most of my family and my vanilla friends are shocked (or at least surprised) by the kinky experiences that I talk about. At the same time, these experiences have only scratched the surface of the kink community. Basically, I am a switch, but I do enjoy Femdom, forced crossdressing, and male chastity. Some women are freaked out by that. At the same time, I have met some women who are into some hardcore kink that scares me. Just when I think I’m kinky, cool, and in the scene, I talk to someone who makes me realize there is a whole world of kink out there I know nothing about.
So I asked my kinky friends two simple questions about both sides of the kink spectrum. Here are their answers.

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Keep Your Sense of Humor: My Comic Friends Talk Sex & Comedy by Nicholas Tanek


Sex is funny. Sure, it can be serious and romantic, but sometimes it’s silly or awkward, and you have to just go with it. Many of us do not like to think of ourselves as being conceived after our parents were laughing their asses off, juggling dildos, and shoving objects in each other’s butts. Actually, these days, I think that would have been cool if I was conceived like that. My point is that sexuality and humor go hand in hand. There are some comics who have made their whole career talking about sex. There are others who avoid it. (One comic declined to do this article because she did not want to be labeled a “sex comic.”)

I wrote a book titled Your Kinky Friends. The fetish community saved my life while I was mourning my fiancée, Lynn, who passed away in 2012.  My editor told me that I managed to write a funny book about mourning and being sad. I take that comment to heart because it was humor that helped me through some of my darkest times. Sex and comedy are two very important aspects of my life. They don’t necessarily have to be combined, but I have to admit, funny people are sexy. I’m not rich. I’m barely keeping up with my looks. I’m not even healthy. Basically, I nap and fart. But, you know what? Dear reader, if we hang out, there’s a decent chance that we’ll share some laughs.

So, I asked my comic friends four questions about comedy and sexuality. Here are their answers.

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Let’s Have Sex in Public with My Kinky Friends


by Nicholas Tanek

I am a sentimental fool when I look back on some of my sexual adventures in public. Some include me going down on women in parks or getting blown in movie theaters. Others involve group parties. Each incident makes me look back and smile.

So, what is it about doing sexual acts in public or consensual exhibitionism (in a private space) that makes people do it? I think that for some, it’s the risk of getting caught. For others, it is about being voyeurs or being the ones who are watched. Perhaps, there is the vulnerability aspect too. So, I asked some of my kinky friends a couple of questions regarding this topic and here are their answers.

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