We know some BDSM Erotica authors who truly represent the kink community and the culture. When I published The Coolest Way to Kill Yourself, it was filed under the genre of romance. My book is a true love story that includes kinky sex. One of the major themes in the book is how exploring kink can be healing. At the time, 50 Shades of Grey was very popular, and so many authors tried to jump on the bandwagon. When I was promoting my book, I was overwhelmed by the number of authors who did not represent BDSM in the proper way. As someone who is active in the kink community, it annoyed me. I understand some books are just fantasy, but I still think that BDSM Erotica authors have a responsibility to the kink community and their readers.
So, I asked some of my BDSM Erotica author friends several questions. Here are their answers.
I am a big believer in live and let live. This belief was never stronger than when my youngest daughter came out to me as Pansexual. I won’t claim to know a great deal about The LGBTQIA community, but I wanted to learn more so I could show love and support for my daughter.
Writing has always been important to me. I was the girl in the neighborhood who wrote dramatic plays and then forced my childhood friends to perform my work in the backyard for an audience of squirrels. In high school, I wrote sordid love stories about yearbook camp, dark room blow jobs, and kinky farm parties and submitted them in my creative writing classes just to make my teachers blush. Now, I write fluffy little nonsense stories for my own pleasure, and lately I’ve been wanting to expand my writing horizons and be more daring.
Heroes save lives and the kink community saved mine. My life was a mess. I met some wonderful people who have been kind and helpful throughout my journey within the kink community. This is only part one in a series about people who I truly think are heroes in the kink community.
So, I talked to some of my kinky heroes and asked them questions about giving back to the community. Here are their answers.
I am not perfect. I have curves from too many french fries and a serious goldfish cracker habit. I find myself googling diets, potions, and magic spells in the vain attempt to reshape my body to be more aesthetically pleasing on a regular basis. I’ve had two children and carrying them in my body changed me in many wonderful ways, but also left scars that dimple my once flat belly. I have wrinkles! I have wrinkles on my neck! My boobs are succumbing to gravity, and I am considering propping them up with toothpicks. I could continue listing my flaws indefinitely, but with age and experience also comes insight. I carry my history in every crease and bump. I like who I am and I wanted to find a way to celebrate myself as I am right now. I decided to do a boudoir shoot to see my body through a photographer’s lens in the hope that I may better appreciate what I see in the mirror. Continue reading It’s a Picture of my Butt: Boudoir Photography
Did you ever hump the side of the bath tub or the arm of the couch? Did you ever make a masturbation tent because teenage-you couldn’t stand the staring, judging eyes of all the posters on your walls and ceiling? Did you ever put something that wasn’t “body safe” inside of yourself, lose hold of it, and then pee your bed trying to push it back out? No? Is it just me? Listen, we’re all friends here. Be honest. I know I’m not the only one.
Throughout the years, I have known many vanilla people who got involved in kink and now, they feel like kink saved their lives. Not everyone can wrap their head around kinky sexual expression. Some people cannot even understand the concept of being tied up. Once they break their borders, a sense of healing starts. I am a recovering drug addict. I’m not going back to drugs and kink is a major reason for that. While I do have this addictive behavior, it was love, kink, and sexual expression that helped me get through drug addiction and emotional loss after the death of the love of my life.
So, I asked some of our kinky friends some questions about how being kinky healed them. Here are their answers.
I’m a sarcastic smart ass… and not just a little bit. I was born without a filter. I’m sometimes a little blunt and can be a raging outspoken bitch at other times. I’m not an average woman. I was born demented, deformed and disabled. That’s as close to a triple D as I’ll ever get. (Yay, a boob joke!)
Disabled people can be and are sexual human beings. Let me say that again for the people who might have missed it. Disabled people CAN be and ARE sexual human beings. Being disabled does not stop our hormones from revving up. It doesn’t make us magically turn into cold fish who find no joy in intimacy, kink, or just plain hardcore banging.
I love playing with sex toys, and I bought a Magic Wand because it’s a classic toy that I had not tried. My husband was super excited, and with visions of forced orgasms in his head, he bought a harness to hold the tool in place. We eagerly discussed a scene where he would use the tool and harness while I was tied to the wall spread eagle under a spotlight. Sounds good, right? Well…