by Nicholas Tanek
Yes… this actually happened.
This was a real Fetlife conversation. I know this was just someone being weird, but I just had to post this one. Since I am always promoting my books and Your Kinky Friends on Fetlife and Collarspace, I get into many weird conversations on http://fetlife.com. This one is exceptionally strange and funny.
Note: QUIRK GIRL is not her real Fetlife name.
22F Brat
(in the UK)
QUIRK GIRL: TICKLE FIGHT!
NicholasTanek: Tickle fight?
QUIRK GIRL: Yeah! Tickle fight!
NicholasTanek: What about a tickle fight?
QUIRK GIRL: Let’s have a tickle fight!
NicholasTanek: You are in the UK and I am in America. How can we have a tickle fight over the internet?
QUIRK GIRL: Tickle fight!
NicholasTanek: Um…. okay.
(some time passes)
QUIRK GIRL: HEY!
NicholasTanek: Hey?
QUIRK GIRL: Come on! Tickle fight!
NicholasTanek: I don’t know what the hell you are talking about.
QUIRK GIRL: Race war!
NicholasTanek: What? Race war!?!?
QUIRK GIRL: Yeah! Race war!
NicholasTanek: What the fuck is wrong with you?
(more time passes)
QUIRK GIRL: Hey!
NicholasTanek: Don’t say it… please don’t say it.
QUIRK GIRL: Come on! Tickle fight!
NicholasTanek: Oh, no.
QUIRK GIRL: Gotta go… bye!
(some more time passes)
QUIRK GIRL: Hey! Tickle fight!
NicholasTanek: Oh, you’re back again?
QUIRK GIRL: Tickle Fight!
NicholasTanek: Yeah, yeah… I knew you were gonna say that. We cannot have a tickle fight over the internet.
QUIRK GIRL: You should grow a mustache.
NicholasTanek: I’m not growing a mustache.
QUIRK GIRL: If you were going to grow a mustache, would it be pencil thin or really bushy?
NicholasTanek: I’m not really a mustache kind of guy.
QUIRK GIRL: Would you have it curl up at the ends like a villain?
NicholasTanek: I’m not growing a mustache. If anything, some days, I don’t shave and just let it get scruffy.
QUIRK GIRL: Do you know what mustaches and beards do to women sometimes?
NicholasTanek: Let me guess… they tickle?
QUIRK GIRL: Tickle fight!
NicholasTanek: I saw that coming a mile away.
QUIRK GIRL: If you grew a mustache or a beard, you would win the tickle fight!
NicholasTanek: Okay.
QUIRK GIRL: Race war!
NicholasTanek: Race war!? You said that last time you contacted me. What’s wrong with you?
QUIRK GIRL: We’re gonna have a tickle fight. I will contact you. Grow a mustache. … bye bye!
(some time passes)
QUIRK GIRL: Hey!
NicholasTanek: No… no. no. no.
QUIRK GIRL: Tickle fight!
NicholasTanek: I know you are trying to be funny and I love quirky people, but this always takes a weird turn. You start saying “Tickle Fight” over and over again. Then, you start using the phrase “race war” and it makes me want to block you.
QUIRK GIRL: Come on, tickle fight!
NicholasTanek: No.
QUIRK GIRL: I’m depressed. You won’t have a tickle fight with me.
NicholasTanek: Well, I’m sorry.
QUIRK GIRL: Please don’t make me sad. Let’s have a tickle fight.
NicholasTanek: Perhaps you should try talking with a professional if you are depressed. There is no shame in seeking therapy.
QUIRK GIRL: You should dye your hair green.
NicholasTanek: I’m not dying my hair green.
QUIRK GIRL: No! Blue! You should dye your hair blue.
NicholasTanek: Just because you dyed your hair some wild color that does not mean I should too.
QUIRK GIRL: I thought you were all punk rock.
NicholasTanek: I used to go to punk rock shows in 1989/1990. Now, it is 2016. Anyway, I like my hair the color it is.
QUIRK GIRL: Tickle, tickle, tickle.
NicholasTanek: Now, you are getting creepy.
QUIRK GIRL: Come on!
NicholasTanek: Come on, what?
QUIRK GIRL: Race war!
NicholasTanek: NO! No race war!
QUIRK GIRL: Yeah! Come on, race war!
NicholasTanek: When you say “Race war!” I think that you want to be involved in a war between the races. That’s not cool. Does it mean something else? Am I missing something here?
QUIRK GIRL: Come on! When are you gonna dye your hair?
NicholasTanek: Why don’t you dye YOUR hair?
QUIRK GIRL: I did dye my hair. I’m going to dye my hair again. I’ll see ya around!
(Some more time passes)
QUIRK GIRL: Hey! What’s up doodlebug?
NicholasTanek: Let me guess, you’re gonna say “Tickle Fight”
QUIRK GIRL: Yeah! Tickle Fight! Let’s have a tickle fight!
NicholasTanek: I don’t know what to do with you. For days, you have been messaging me to have a tickle fight. You are in the U.K. and I am in America. So, obviously, we cannot have a tickle fight unless that is code for something else. You keep on telling me to grow a mustache and dye my hair.
QUIRK GIRL: Yay! You’re growing a mustache and dying your hair? That’s great.
NicholasTanek: No, I’m not growing a mustache and dying my hair. You keep saying that. But, then things get weird when you say, “Race war!”
QUIRK GIRL: Yay! Race war!
NicholasTanek: What is up with you?
QUIRK GIRL: You really don’t know what I mean? Do you want to know?
NicholasTanek: At this point, I don’t even know if I want to know.
QUIRK GIRL: Race war… check out this video and it will explain it to you.
NicholasTanek: Oh, it’s a comedy sketch from WKUK. Now, I remember that sketch.
QUIRK GIRL: Yes, It is a comedy sketch where a guy goes up to his friend and just starts yelling “Race war!”. His friend is all confused. It’s funny. I see you post about comedy sketches and stand up all the time in groups. I thought that you would know the sketch. And, if you didn’t remember it, I thought it would amuse me to confuse you with it.
NicholasTanek: Huh, okay.
QUIRK GIRL: In real life, I do not want a race war. I’m not racist. I think that the Race War comedy sketch by WKUK (The Whitest Kids U Know) is absurd and silly satire that could actually be a statement by the racial problems in the United States. People are so quick to fight and use racism as a motive. Like the film Dr. Strangelove, the sketch also takes a problem that is going on in the world and shows how absurd it is.
NicholasTanek: Okay, you have a point.
QUIRK GIRL: I think absurd humor is a very interesting way to bring social issues into a conversation while making people laugh. Ultimately, it is kind of healing.
NicholasTanek: So, you are not a crazy idiot.
QUIRK GIRL: Far from it. I am going to get a Masters degree from ____________. See… our conversation is a perfect example of how people should not be quick to judge other people just from the first couple of messages.
NicholasTanek: Good point.
QUIRK GIRL: I’m a huge fan of absurd humor. I love Tim & Eric Awesome Show Great Job!, Mitch Hedberg, The Kids In The Hall, and Mr. Show.
NicholasTanek: I love those.
QUIRK GIRL: And even if you did post our conversations on the internet, that’s cool with me. I’m glad our conversations made some people laugh. I know you post in the Return to Sender group on Fetlife.
NicholasTanek: Touche’
QUIRK GIRL: Yes. I won this tickle fight.
NicholasTanek: You sure did.
QUIRK GIRL: Next time we meet, we are going to have a tickle fight for real.
NicholasTanek: Next time? We never met in person the first time!
QUIRK GIRL: Well, if you are ever in the U.K., make sure you have a mustache and make sure your hair is dyed blue. See ya later, masturbator! Tickle fight!
Join the Your Kinky Friends chat on Discord: https://discord.gg/uUwzVVa
Follow Nicholas Tanek on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NicholasTanek
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nicholas.tanek?ref=bookmarks
Your Kinky Friends: https://www.amazon.com/Your-Kinky-Friends-Nicholas-Tanek-ebook/dp/B06XRYCH7N/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1507339445&sr=8-1&keywords=Your+kinky+Friends
[contact-form][contact-field label=”Name” type=”name” required=”true” /][contact-field label=”Email” type=”email” required=”true” /][contact-field label=”Website” type=”url” /][contact-field label=”Message” type=”textarea” /][/contact-form]