Professional Dominatrixes are an essential aspect of the kink community. Regardless if it is a 24/7 lifestyle choice or how they make a living, Pro Dommes contribute to various aspects of the kink community. Once again, I asked some of our professional dominatrix friends some questions and they came through with some interesting insights. These Pro Dommes truly love and live the Femdom life.
Here are their answers…
Mistress Fenris
Mistress Fenris is feral and fierce like her namesake. She is an Apex Predator and a true sadist. She is not Little Red Riding Hood. She is the Big Bad Wolf. She specializes in dealing out raw physical pain and primal pleasure.
Website: www.mistressfenris.com
Email contact: mistressfenris@protonmail.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/mistressfenris
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mistressfenris/
For Wilde Fenris Productions:
Wilde Fenris Productions is based on the passion that Lady Lilah Wilde and Mistress Fenris have for one another and for kink. They found their different styles to be very complementary in creating unique erotic experiences. They enjoy duo domination sessions and food fetish sessions.
How did you get started in the Femdom / professional Domme lifestyle and what kinks/fetishes do you enjoy?
I got involved with being a professional Domme when a friend gave me a last final push to move forward with something that I had been wanting for years. Five years ago, when I was traveling abroad, I was emailing back and forth with a master madame in England. We discussed, in detail, about me coming to England to train under her tutelage. Some complications occurred, and I ended up coming home to the United States instead of traveling to England.
I enjoy bondage, physical punishments/torture of all sorts. This includes impact play, cbt (cock & ball torture), electro play, corporal punishment, knife play, water sports, and food play.
What advice would you give to a woman who wants to be a professional Domme?
You don’t just magically start making money right away. Being a pro should be treated with the dedication of a career as an independent contractor. If it is not approached as such, you will not be successful. It is a lot of work that includes photo shoots, social media, self-promotion, education around consent, training how to use tools, research, interacting with clients, etc.
If you are not committed to treating this like a career as an independent contractor, do not waste my time. If you are committed, bring something suitable to the table as an exchange for me launching your career and investing the time in supporting you in that.
What advice would you give to men who want to approach a Pro Domme?
Respect a professional’s time and do not ask for free handouts from someone who has put in the time and effort to be a successful professional Dominatrix.
Video Interview with Mistress Fenris
VIDEO CHAT: Mistress Fenris & Lady Lilah Wilde with Nicholas Tanek
Sorceress Bebe
Sorceress Bebe is a Los Angeles-based ProDomme, FinDomme, and fetish clip artist.
Wishlist: http://a.co/hnWOnyb
How did you get started in the Femdom / professional Domme lifestyle and what kinks/fetishes do you enjoy?
I found Femdom/Prodomme online. I was going through some things in my personal life and I found it as an outlet. It’s funny, there were so many things about me that I didn’t realize were “things” until I stumbled upon the community. As a child, I was always quite bossy and controlling, I was smart enough to use my innocent look to do and get what I wanted all the time. I loved having the ability to control people without them really knowing it. As I got older, I found that I loved controlling boyfriends, I would make them do anything I wanted. I remember when I was in high school, I had a boyfriend who had already graduated. I would make him wake up every morning early to drive me to school simply because I hated driving myself and finding parking. When I found online Femdom, I realized that this is basically what I’ve been doing my whole life and I can make a career out of it. I immediately became very active in the community and things blew up from there. I enjoy cbt, chastity, and impact play most, but I love exploring and trying new things as well.
What advice would you give to a woman who wants to be a professional Domme?
My advice to a woman who wants to be a professional Domme would be to learn as much as you can and make friends in the community. Understand that a lot of this is growth and you never stop learning. Most importantly, forming solid bonds with people in the community is essential. Both Dommes and subs will help so much. To gain confidence and to learn, bounce ideas off each other and to have a support system who understands what you do.
What advice would you give to men who want to approach a Pro Domme?
I advise men to really take the time to study a Domme before approaching them. Get to know a bit about her. Then, approach with respect as well as clear intentions. We get tons of messages a day and we’ve all had our time wasted before. Many of us simply don’t have the time to respond to messages that are simply “hi” or “hey.” Approaching a Domme with manners and a proper introduction will help not only to get a response but also show that you’re serious as well. As difficult as it is for subs to filter through the “instadommes,” it’s even more difficult for a Domme because we often get messages from people with no point of reference. Reputable Dommes have plenty of content and a lot to go by so it gives a clear picture of who they are, and you usually know what you’re getting when approaching. Subs don’t usually have substantiated profiles to go by. So, the only context we get is the initial message. Approach and first impressions are everything when it comes to getting a Domme’s attention right off the bat. If I receive a thoughtless message with a short or rude tone, improper manners, or bad spelling, I usually won’t even bother to engage in the conversation. If I get a bad vibe during the conversation, then I usually will decline the session altogether.
Video interview with Sorceress Bebe
Syren Rayna
Syren Rayna is a trained erotic hypnotist and Dominatrix from Portland, OR. She is nationally certified and well-studied in hypnosis and how the mind works. She utilizes NLP, hypnotic phrasing, and behavioral conditioning to manipulate behavior. Syren has been in the BDSM scene around Portland since 2016. Syren noticed her natural gift of manipulating people at an early age. What brought her to the kink side of it was a desire to break down some of the “shame walls” that people have. She hates that, even in this community, people can feel isolated in their kink choices. She enjoys helping people understand and embrace their true undercurrent of BDSM and Kink.
How did you get started in the Femdom / professional Domme lifestyle and what kinks/fetishes do you enjoy?
I got started in Femdom as a way to add a little kink to my life. I was planning on playing publicly and doing pickup play, so I negotiated with my partner that I would only top (for a sense of safety and security, both for me and him). I went to a Dominatrix Tea party (I was already trained in hypnosis). Then, I met a bunch of Dommes who showed me the ropes (pun intended) at the next big play party. I sort of ran with it from there.
Kinks I enjoy: well it is sort of ever growing. I enjoy mindfuckery, hypnosis, and tease & denial. But I also love predicament humiliation/embarrassment, sensation play, abandonment & ignore, impact (paddles), cbt, foot worship, and so many more.
For me, it is more about the creativeness of a scene, that we can create as scene partners. If it is not a hard limit for me, I really have a kink for just indulging people in their kinks. The world needs more hedonism.
What advice would you give to a woman who wants to be a professional Domme?
Prepare yourself for a life that is 80% admin work and 20% fun kinky times. I spend far more time doing marketing, writing, SEO, social media management, correspondence, research, bookkeeping, site development, research, self-improvement in BDSM, hypnosis, site management, and content creation than I do with one-on-one clients. It is a business. In the beginning, you are an army of one.
Don’t expect growth overnight. It is a business and most businesses take 6 months to get off the ground. That is 6 months of not being sure if it is going to work or not. Don’t give up. Put the work in because you love it and it will grow. If you don’t love it, don’t do it only for the money.
Be okay with being you. There are thousands of Dommes and not all of them are the same cookie cutter kind. Not every sub wants that kind. Be okay letting some clients go if they are not a fit.
Grow a very thick skin but try to avoid becoming jaded. In this field, there is a lot of rejection both by you and by potential subs. A “NO” at the end of a negotiation is a SUCCESSFUL negotiation.
Guard your personal information like it was your life…because it is. Set up totally different accounts for everything. When taking photos or screenshots, mind your background. Zoom in. Can you see anything at all that looks like an identifier? When in doubt, block it out. Be a little paranoid about it. TRUST ME. If you are putting this stuff up online, someone out there is zooming in and trying to see what they can see. I know… they have told me.
Finally, try to find balance. If you do your admin work from home or from your phone, then it can feel like you are always on. Always. Make a list of ideas for content while your date is in the bathroom (real-life experience here folks). Find time to SHUT IT OFF. Even if it is half or a whole day once a week, take time that is away from the kink and interact with your life. Ideally, if you can, put your work (laptop, work phone, notes, etc.) behind a door that closes.
What advice would you give to men who want to approach a Pro Domme?
Be clear in your desired outcomes. Phrases like, “I want to serve,” “make me your bitch,” “I get so hard over…” are useless emails for most of us. “I want to be a film slave for one of your upcoming sessions. These are my kinks, my limits, and my location. I am willing to come to you if needed,” is MUCH more helpful. If you want a session: same rules apply. “I would like to book a session with you. Do you have a form to fill out or would you like for me to send you my kinks and limits as well as availability?”
Do your damn research. Most Pros have a pretty rich content history on social media or their own site. READ IT. Don’t approach a Domme who lists scat as a hard limit and tell her that you really want her to scene with you but that is your only kink. It will be a “no.” (I write this, and I am thinking to myself: “duh” but yet…it happens!!!!)
Know your limits. When someone says, “I don’t have any limits,” it’s almost always bullshit.
No one wants to see your dick until it is part of the session. Most of the time, even then we don’t.
Remember that the title is Professional. You don’t call your doctor to just ask how their morning is going. Don’t try to randomly chat up Dommes.
If you get a “No thank you,” don’t be a dick. Trust me, you don’t want to scene with someone who doesn’t want to scene with you. IT IS NOT FUN. So, thank her for her time and move on. Remember, you are not entitled to a yes just because you ask.
Video interview with Siren Rayna
So…
What have we learned from all of this?
We all need discipline. Sure, there is the home version of being a dominatrix, but being a professional dominatrix is an artform. These ladies studied in order to be the professional Dommes they are now. Men and women, if you wish to submit to a powerful woman in a safe consensual way, these are just some of the wonderful women who can help you. Paying for consensual Femdom is something that can be healing. Plus, in many ways Professional Dommes are educators and therapists. If you are lucky enough to not have to pay for professional dominatrix services, learn from your experiences. Sometimes, we may have to pay to express ourselves. There is nothing wrong with that. There are times that you may want to seek out a professional to explore your submissive side or your dominant side. So, read and listen to our professional Dominatrix friends. Sometimes, we need to be punished or told what to do.
Previous articles:
Our Professional Dominatrix Friends by Nicholas Tanek
Part I: https://yourkinkyfriends.com/2018/02/21/prodomme/
Part III: https://yourkinkyfriends.com/2018/06/30/dominatrix3/
Slavery please please to be the property of a Dominatrix and serve as slave in all aspects of such a life style