Conversations with kinky people inspire us. Since the opening night in 2022, I began collecting real random quotes that I overhear in passing while at Mischief Manor, my local BDSM kink dungeon run by the legendary Mistress Schari. The rule of the game is that people must consent to contribute these quotes. Second, they are actual quotes that must be random, but in passing. The third rule is never to attribute a quote to a person. Part of the fun is remembering who said it (or who you think would have said it).
“I want weird people to meet other weird people.”
“I think I have the solution for world peace.”
“Do me a solid and chew before your food before you tell me your story about puppy play.”
“I’ll Bottom for anything.”
“Don’t unzip your dress, just text me a picture.”
“Do you remember who the keyholder is to your chastity device?
“There is a lot of neurodiversity in the scene”
“Find your happy and do that”
“Take me now…. I’m kidding.
… or am I?”
“So, he ends up in my DMs”
“I started a war with the government of my town.”
“This will make a good quote.”
“Did you ever buy yourself a new vibrator?”
“No, I just plugged mine back in.”
“I’m cumming tomorrow “
“I work in law so I don’t have any emotion.”
“I was too much of a pothead to remember that”
“They are all covered in grease”
“Did you say you are moving to Kosovo?”
“Please…. Please… please let me worship your pussy.”
“My cross is being built”
“Ow!!!!! Three!”
“Whatever kink you have walking in the door, you are leaving with a different one.”
“I think I might be kinky”
“Thirteen!!!! Oh, shit!”
“I am in a dungeon looking up sodomy laws on Wikipedia…. for fun”
“Hit her with your boobies”
“It’s cool. I’m a dog person….. oh, I’m a dog person.”
“Silence is golden and duct tape is silver”
“Ahhhh FORTY SEVEN”
“Are you going to beat her with a rubber chicken now?”
“There are like 5 different rubber chickens in here.”
“I have so many questions on my mind “
“Tickle torture? It’s great! So much laughter!”
“That’s why I never go into the pool at a sex convention “
“The chicken is broken”
“I gotta go for the calorie burn”
“To be a very high-level attorney, you have to be weird “
“Fuck! Ninety-Nine!”
“Keep your boobs on!”
“Who hasn’t had cum in their hair?”
“Even if you play with a remote control butt plug, you have to remember to use it.”
“I’m cold and my shirt has cum on it.”
“Shall I bring in the black bag, just for giggles?”
“Look at the fun toys I have! You never know what you’re gonna need.”
“I took my butt plug out…. that seems like a good idea before pizza.”
“I don’t care if I pee on your table, but you might “
“You must be whimsical. I’m serious”
“Someone dropped something and I immediately wondered, “Was that a spoon?”
(while giving a nod to Nicholas and Sunshine)
“Breasticles”
“It’s definitely NOT Scientology.”
“I did his podcast and now look at us.”
“I am hypnotizing you with this ball bag.”
“So many rope tops are egotistical, but she ropes for the bottom. She ties for the bottom, not the audience.”
“When the needle punctures the skin, I am reminded of the feeling of finally getting a sip of cold water after being around nothing but heat.”
“I should put the ball bag back.”
“You can do knife play with this!”
“I love needles!”
“What isn’t she allowed to tell you?”
“Did I tell you how much I love needles?”
“Apricot Jucytits and Reginald Meatpuppet”
“You gotta a bigger one?”
“We make sure people don’t get hit on the backswing.”
“Is that your car parked at _____? Your lights are on.”
“The piss virgins are the best.”
“They were a little depraved… a little.”
“I’ll be be right there. I just have to tie up these loose ends…. That’s not what I mean.”
“What would happen if werewolves were on the moon?… think about it.”
“I walked into a weird sentence.”
“It was the best scene all night. Sitting on that couch I could see your scene, and it was like a work of art.”
“You’re done? You sure about that?”