KEEPING YOUR KINKY LIFE SECRET by Nicholas Tanek

I am “out” as a kinky person, but many of our friends like to keep their kinky lifestyle private. Some have important jobs. Some have judgmental friends and family members. Others just prefer to keep their kink hidden. For whatever the reason, people sometimes go to great lengths to keep their kinky lifestyle hidden.

So, I asked a couple of our kinky friends about keeping their kinky life a secret. Here are their answers…

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#MeToo – Our Friends (And My Mother) Talk about Sexual Misconduct and Sexual Harassment

By Nicholas Tanek

My mother and father taught me to respect people. They would tell me, “Treat people how you would like to be treated.” When I was young, I’m sure I made the improper or obnoxious joke every once in a while. I’ve grown up and I’ve changed. Being friends with women and listening to women changed me.

Throughout the years of hanging out with female friends, I have learned that many males can be considered a predator. There are women who live in a constant state of terror due to misogyny and sexism. I went to college in the 1990s during a heightened state of campus date-rape awareness. The last thing I wanted to do was make a person feel unsafe. At the same time, sexual misconduct can come from women too. I’ve personally experienced it. These days, the #MeToo movement has sparked a full-on revolution on how people look at sexuality, sexual misconduct, and sexual harassment.

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Five Kink Podcasts That Made My Life Better

By Nicholas Tanek

 

Since I started listening to podcasts, I never listen to the radio anymore. I barely even listen to music in the car. Podcasts are a way for people to express themselves, connect with others, and learn something new. The kink community is huge but still somewhat “underground.” Podcasting has its own community too. As an author (Your Kinky Friends), I have been on several podcasts to discuss my books.  Through one podcast (Off The Cuffs: A BDSM & Kink Podcast), a whole world has opened up for me, which led to new friends and experiences. Here are some podcasts that are essential listening for anyone who is interested in kink.

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The BDSM Episode w/ Nicholas Tanek & Luna Darke – One Guy Talking Podcast

 

This is video of Nicholas Tanek & Luna Darke being guests on the One Guy Talking Podcast. It’s the BDSM/kink episode.

iTunes

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My Kinky Saturday at TES Fest 2017

By Nicholas Tanek

I have always been kinky, but it has only been since 2012 that I completely embraced my kink without fear of what other people thought. I wrote a book called The Coolest Way to Kill Yourself where I confessed that Lynn, the love of my life, would put a chastity device on my cock and sometimes make me wear lingerie and French maid outfits. Then, I wrote Your Kinky Friends, which is about how the kink community saved my life.

 

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Reckless Kink

My Kinky Friends Discuss Some Dangers of Kink & How to Stay Safe

By Nicholas Tanek

Being kinky is fun, but it can sometimes be dangerous. I look at the kink community and the lifestyle in a very positive light. Personally, I tend to focus on the fun and friendship aspect. At the same time, there are social, physical, and mental aspects that can damage a person. If someone is not careful, they can meet the wrong person. There are certain kinks, like breath play, knife play, or fire play, where someone can get hurt if not done correctly.

So, I asked some of my kinky friends about the dangers of kink and how to stay safe. Here are their answers.

 

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Some Dos & Don’ts of Approaching People In The Kink Community

By Nicholas Tanek

Kinky people are human and humans make mistakes. There is an etiquette in the kink community, like anywhere else. Although I consider myself a switch, I am very much into Femdom. I have made some truly dumb mistakes approaching Dommes. I have grown quite a bit since then and learned some valuable lessons. Of course, I’m still learning and growing as a kinky person.  In general, it’s important to have etiquette when dealing with anyone, even in the kink community.

So, I asked some of my friends in the kink community three questions and I hope their answers may help others.

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Being Kinky Behind Your Vanilla Partner’s Back

By Nicholas Tanek

I was once in a miserable marriage with a woman named Alison.  The kinkiest thing we did was me tying her up while she wore lingerie and I used a vibrator on her. There was this one time I put a dog leash on her and fucked her from behind while she yelled, “I’m your slut! Yes! Fuck your little slut!” That was fun, but I also had femdom fantasies that I wanted to explore. When I was married, I never expected my ex-wife to understand my interest in forced crossdressing, male chastity, pegging, and femdom.

These days, I am a part of the kink community and live a kinky lifestyle. I’m proud of that. While I can be a switch, the femdom dynamic is strong. I spent many years trapped in a relationship that was unsatisfying and uncomfortable. I refuse to live that way, and I know that I am not alone. So, I asked some of my kinky friends to share some of their experiences of doing kinky things behind their vanilla partner’s back. I asked three questions in the hope that you, dear reader, may not feel so alone if you are in the same situation.

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WANT TO EXPLORE FEMDOM? Your Kinky Friends can help!

 

 By Nicholas Tanek

 

Femdom

  1. Or: femdomme / domme / female dom / female dominant, a woman who enjoys the dominating role in BDSM scenes.
  2. A BDSM scene controlled by a woman.

 

A Femdom relationship is not always the easiest thing to start. In the kink community, the number of men who enjoy Femdom outnumber the women who participate in it. It can be a lonely world out there for a man who is interested in Femdom, male chastity, cuckolding, and forced crossdressing.

I wanted to write this article to help both men and women who are interested in getting into Femdom relationships (professional or personal). So I asked a bunch of my kinky friends three questions. Here are their answers.

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TOO KINKY? Tales of Being Too Kinky & Being Out-Kinked.

By Nicholas Tanek

I am a kinky person and I am proud of it. I’m so proud of it, I was a guest on an episode of the ProudToBeKinky podcast. I even wrote a book about the kink community titled Your Kinky Friends. Most of my family and my vanilla friends are shocked (or at least surprised) by the kinky experiences that I talk about. At the same time, these experiences have only scratched the surface of the kink community. Basically, I am a switch, but I do enjoy Femdom, forced crossdressing, and male chastity. Some women are freaked out by that. At the same time, I have met some women who are into some hardcore kink that scares me. Just when I think I’m kinky, cool, and in the scene, I talk to someone who makes me realize there is a whole world of kink out there I know nothing about.
So I asked my kinky friends two simple questions about both sides of the kink spectrum. Here are their answers.

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