Heroes save lives and the kink community saved mine. My life was a mess. I met some wonderful people who have been kind and helpful throughout my journey within the kink community. This is only part one in a series about people who I truly think are heroes in the kink community.
So, I talked to some of my kinky heroes and asked them questions about giving back to the community. Here are their answers.
Throughout the years, I have known many vanilla people who got involved in kink and now, they feel like kink saved their lives. Not everyone can wrap their head around kinky sexual expression. Some people cannot even understand the concept of being tied up. Once they break their borders, a sense of healing starts. I am a recovering drug addict. I’m not going back to drugs and kink is a major reason for that. While I do have this addictive behavior, it was love, kink, and sexual expression that helped me get through drug addiction and emotional loss after the death of the love of my life.
So, I asked some of our kinky friends some questions about how being kinky healed them. Here are their answers.
Continue reading THE HEALING POWER OF KINK by Nicholas Tanek
I’m a sarcastic smart ass… and not just a little bit. I was born without a filter. I’m sometimes a little blunt and can be a raging outspoken bitch at other times. I’m not an average woman. I was born demented, deformed and disabled. That’s as close to a triple D as I’ll ever get. (Yay, a boob joke!)
Disabled people can be and are sexual human beings. Let me say that again for the people who might have missed it. Disabled people CAN be and ARE sexual human beings. Being disabled does not stop our hormones from revving up. It doesn’t make us magically turn into cold fish who find no joy in intimacy, kink, or just plain hardcore banging.
Continue reading Crippling the Disability and Sex Stigma by SassyWitch666
By Nicholas Tanek
My mother and father taught me to respect people. They would tell me, “Treat people how you would like to be treated.” When I was young, I’m sure I made the improper or obnoxious joke every once in a while. I’ve grown up and I’ve changed. Being friends with women and listening to women changed me.
Throughout the years of hanging out with female friends, I have learned that many males can be considered a predator. There are women who live in a constant state of terror due to misogyny and sexism. I went to college in the 1990s during a heightened state of campus date-rape awareness. The last thing I wanted to do was make a person feel unsafe. At the same time, sexual misconduct can come from women too. I’ve personally experienced it. These days, the #MeToo movement has sparked a full-on revolution on how people look at sexuality, sexual misconduct, and sexual harassment.
This is video of Nicholas Tanek & Luna Darke being guests on the One Guy Talking Podcast. It’s the BDSM/kink episode.
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I’m not only kinky, but I’m a weirdo. I like weird films. I like bizarre music. I like to eat weird foods. When I was a teenager, I made homemade straight jackets and came in my pants. I enjoyed staring into space for long periods of time and made bizarre noises for fun. I didn’t even understand it. Even before I did drugs, I loved absurd humor. One of my favorite sketches was “The Pear Dream” from The Kids in The Hall. When Adult Swim came along, I felt like there was a whole bunch of people who understood me… even though I didn’t always understand their work.
I don’t try to be weird. (Okay…sometimes I do when I’m hanging out with my other weird friends to make them laugh.) My point is my eccentric behavior is deeply ingrained in me. I think it is a mixture of OCD, my addiction issues, my love of psychedelic culture, and my love of the creative arts. After all this time, I am comfortable being this weirdo and I don’t care what “normal” people think of my weirdness.
Being a part of the kink community, I’ve met some wonderful and weird people who embrace their eccentricities. So I asked them a couple of questions about being weird, feeling weird, and embracing their weirdness. Here are their answers.
Being kinky is fun, but it can sometimes be dangerous. I look at the kink community and the lifestyle in a very positive light. Personally, I tend to focus on the fun and friendship aspect. At the same time, there are social, physical, and mental aspects that can damage a person. If someone is not careful, they can meet the wrong person. There are certain kinks, like breath play, knife play, or fire play, where someone can get hurt if not done correctly.
So, I asked some of my kinky friends about the dangers of kink and how to stay safe. Here are their answers.
Kinky people are human and humans make mistakes. There is an etiquette in the kink community, like anywhere else. Although I consider myself a switch, I am very much into Femdom. I have made some truly dumb mistakes approaching Dommes. I have grown quite a bit since then and learned some valuable lessons. Of course, I’m still learning and growing as a kinky person. In general, it’s important to have etiquette when dealing with anyone, even in the kink community.
So, I asked some of my friends in the kink community three questions and I hope their answers may help others.
Continue reading Some Dos & Don’ts of Approaching People In The Kink Community
